Short update and some Q&A.  Buddy is continuing to lose hair, but is
otherwise healthly and energetic.  Not too bad for 8 years of age.  Crystal
has recovered from her abdominal exploration and neutering, and has become a
very lovey-dovey lap ferret.  Chrys has lost his goodies as well, and except
for some minor limping, is doing fine.  His special odor has all but gone.
Stella's hair has returned to her rat-like tail, and she has started to lick
the ice of the front windows.  For fun I let her push ice cubes around the
kitchen.  Everyone else is doing fine; the only thing upcoming is a possible
descenting for Trillian who has had yet another impacted anal sac this week.
As most of you know, I am against descenting except for medical or other
compelling reasons, so the decision is based on the long term effects of
continued painful anal sacs (and associated treatments) or a minor
operation.  A non-brainer.
 
On the home front, my dad has gone back into ICU twice since my last post.
Not a lot of long-term hope.  Elizabeth, the black-hearted girl who revels
in "Dad-disin'," spent two days in ICU for a particularly bad case of
walking pneumonia, and is still hospitalized, but is doing very well.  She
apparently caught the same strain that killed Jim Henson.  I'm very thankful
we caught it before it was untreatable.  She should have no long term
effects.  Today she was telling the nurses what a terrible dad I was for not
bringing her chocolate ice cream.
 
Q: My ferret is very fat and just lies around. What should I do?
 
A: Give it a remote control and a beer, and claim you are married.
 
First, all ferrets get fat during the winter.  Tis' a natural thing and to
be expected.  Severe obesity is another thing, and is generally seen
throughout the year.  My Stella tends to be somewhat plump; she tends to be
quieter than the others, and her play is not as vigorus.  She is the only
one out of 18 with the problem, although Apollo can chunk up in the winter.
 
The compelling reason for obesity is the consumption of more calories than
are metabolized; in short, overeating.  In humans, this can be caused by
environmental, physiological, and/or pyschological reasons, and some
evidence exists that many animals respond in a similar fashion.  I know of
several studies in many animals that suggest access to unlimited foods,
especially when boredom is a factor, will result in an overweight condition.
Food restrictions and an interesting environment tend to take care of the
problem.
 
The suggestion that food needs to be somewhat restricted is not going to get
many ferret fanatics approval, however.  Suggestions that a short digestive
tract and high metabolic needs require a constant food supply tend to ignore
the biological fact that most carnivores (including polecats and feral
ferret populations) normally gorge and fast, that is, go periods of time
without food, then gorge when it is available.  Healthy ferrets can easily
go overnight without food, and I stopped feeding mine after dark more than a
year ago.  I admit some ferrets with specific illnesses may need to be an
exception, but for the most part, I see no compelling need to overfeed the
beasties.  In support of my opinion are several studies which suggest the
lives of animals are shortened when unlimited food is available.
 
I have found that the most compelling reason for fat ferrets is simply a
lack of stimulation in the environment.  This is especially true in ferrets
that spend gobs of time locked up and only limited time romping through the
house.  A stimulated ferret is everywhere, into everything, and almost in a
constant state of play.  A bored ferret is a lump, ambles rather than runs,
and eats out of boredom.  Just remember, ferrets are very intelligent, and
require mental stimulation, as well as physical, in order to remain healthy.
 
Q: You haven't said anything about the California Fish and Game lately.
   They scare you off?
 
A: The only thing about them that scares me is they might touch me and I
might not be able to get the stink off.
 
The real reason is I've been very busy with family stuff. But just because
you asked....
 
The CaCa Fish and Gestapo are so stupid....
 
....the BA stands for "Blind Ass," and BS for "Born Stupid."
....they earned a Master's degree in baiting.
....they are role models for maggots.
....they think duplicity means duplication, and never repeat experiments
    although they seem to generate data.
....they have pistol envy with the CaCa Highway Patrol.  They could never
    get over the fact that the bear on the CHIP badge is bigger than thiers.
....they are an entry in the dictionary under "pseudoscience."
....they would have been an episode of the "X-files" but were too
    unbelievable.
....they think they think. At least they think so.
 
Finally, the main reason the CaCa Fish and Gestapo exists is to tax
hunting/fishing and to make sure enough huntable animals live within the
state.  Thus, introduced animals that replace native species or do
environmental damage are ok if you can hunt them, such as lots of fish, wild
boar or pheasants.  Its hard to shoot ferrets because they are fast, small,
and live in burrows.  Gee, I guess if they hurt the environment but were fun
to shoot, we wouldn't have any problems making them legal.
 
Bob C and the Missouri 18 (In Memory of Gus)
[Posted in FML issue 1823]