**A Ferrets Guide Part 2**


11) Our slaves are clueless as far as food we like to eat. To be able
to get the best food, if they put one in you bowl empty, wait for
refill, and empty again till they put in a food to your liking or you
get tired of emptying the bowl. They are a tad clueless, so please be
patient.

12) If you hoomin is not paying attention to you, you have three
options. Climb up on tallest object and jump off. Knock as many things
down as fast as possible, now this takes some skill and evasive
maneuvers and is also great to do just for fun. Last but not least,
when all else fails attack the worms near them!

13) For some reason hoomins like to groom us. It's not like we don't
groom ourselves! When they bring the white stick, move you head as much
as possible. If you see a stick that looks like our tails when we our
upset and put a strange liquid on it move you head again. If they bring
out the metal torture device, move every appendage as much as possible
to wiggle away from them. If you ever hear the words in their language
called bath time, run away as fast as possible, you life depends on it.

14) To communicate with other ferrets outside of you home, be cautious
since the hoomins do not know yet we can speak. If they leave a big
water bowl out you can send out messages via that to the secret
organization, it is called the FLO. That should be easy to remember,
water, Flow.

15) If a hoomins leaves you access to the magic typing machine, you can
get access to the FIN, or the Ferret Interaction Network. Remember to
switch back though when humans enter the room to their low tech
Internet.

16) If your hoomin takes you for a car ride.....be warned. They will
most likely take you to see an evil hoomin in a white coat. He or She
has many torture devices. I think they are trying to figure us out.
Maybe they secretly know we are aliens.

17) For same strange reason, hoomins buy us toys that sound like kits
crying. You have two choices when you hear that sound. Attack with a
vengeance since they are trying to trick you, or ignore it.

18) Another thing to cope with is the fact that hoomins like to
rearrange our living quarters. Just move things back to normal. If they
continue to annoy you, look for something of theirs that looks nice,
and leave a nice big present on it. That will fix them.

19) As we age, if we start to not feel well, hide it from the hoomins
as long as possible. If your poo looks weird, cover it up. They will
try to take you for a car ride and we know where that leads.

20) Last but not least, enjoy your hoomins. They love us very much.
They even try to do what they think is best, so humor them a little.
Make sure you give them plenty of kisses. Cuddle with them once in a
while. Most important though, make them laugh. No matter what we may do
to make them upset. If you make them laugh, they can never stay upset.

-- 
Life is like a box of chocolates, its full of nuts

[Posted in FML 5779]