Continuing the Simple List of Foods:
 
PROCESSED HUMAN MEATS: These include pepperoni, salami, balogna, meat
spreads, spam, etc.  For the most part, these are way too salty for the
ferret and some contain preservatives that in humans are safe, but not all
have been proved safe in ferrets.  Probably not harmful if small amounts
are given as treats, especially if you can find low salt brands.
 
NUTS: Rich in plant proteins, fats and starches, these are hard to digest
for the most part, and the bulk is sure to give your ferret the runs.  They
are probably not as good as raisins, but in moderation as occasional treats
are probably not very harmful.
 
UNCOOKED VEGETABLES: Lots of ferrets love potatoes, brocoli, carrots and
more, but the truth is, there is nothing in these foods that can help the
ferret maintain good nutrition.  The ferret's digestive system cannot
process the cellulose, so it runs right through without stopping for
directions, along with mostly undigested proteins and carbohydrates.  Also,
if they eat the veggies near the same time as their normal diet, they can
*lose* the nutrients from that meal because the vegetable bulk stimulates
the bowel to empty itself, pushing all nutrients through faster than normal.
Additionally, some larger pieces could act like pieces of rubber to block
the intestines.  A funny weirdness exists on this subject compared to bone;
I know of at least 5 instances where ferrets have *died* from blockages from
carrots and brocoli, and only a single improbible one from bone, yet many
ferret books and people are scared to death of bone but advocate feeding
their ferret fresh vegetables.  Go figure.  Ferrets are primary carnivores
and have a digestive system geared towards digesting animal tissue and bone;
they are not primary herbivores who have a digestive system capable of
digesting cellulose-rich plant material.  This is not a good food for
ferrets, even if they like it or want it.  The only thing they might
possibly get out of fresh veggies are a few vitamins, so instead of causing
the runs or taking the chance on a bowel obstruction, give them a drop of
ferretone.
 
COOKED VEGETABLES: Much better than crunchy veggies, but still not as good
for the ferret as cheap dog food.  As small occasional treats?  Sure, but
they can still cause gas or the runs.
 
CARTILAGE: The ends of chicken bones, pig or beef ears, etc., are all made
of cartilage, which is often used as a homopathic remedy for joint pain.  I
am personally convinced that one of the reasons ferrets love to chew on
rubber and crunchy veggies is because they have a sort of cartilage texture
and chewiness.  Lots of carnivores (and people) *love* chewing of rubbery or
crunchy things, and cartilage fits the bill.  There is a ferret product
designed to fill this need, but I personally find it expensive, so I
subsitute piggie ears (for doggies).  I just soak them until soft and cut
them into strips.  Providing this type of chewing pleasure, as well as
bones, has almost completely eliminated rubber and cord chewing in my house,
even from Ballistic who would chew the heels off your shoes while you were
wearing them.  Cartilage is mostly protein, low fat, but as a treat, it is
excellent.
 
FRESH FRUIT: This is mostly cellulose, complex carbohydrates and simple
sugars, but most mammals love them anyway.  You don't run the risk of a
bowel obstrction like with hard crunchy veggies, but the ferrets will only
absorb the sugars as the rest passes through.  Ok as small occasional
treats.
 
HEAVY CREAM: Mostly fat, and most of the lactose has been removed.  This is
*loved* by ferrets (once you get them to taste it) but will often result in
the runs; not so much from lactose-intolerance, but from the richness of the
fats.  I rarely give cream without mixing it with something else, such as
creamed chicken.  A great product to but weight on sick ferrets, but watch
the runny stools.  Except for sick ferts, only use sparingly or you will end
up with furry footballs.
 
MILK AND MILK PRODUCTS: Most ferrets are lactose-intolerant as adults, but
there is some suggestion that feeding milk to weaning ferrets, then
continuing the practice to adulthood maintains their ability to process the
sugar.  Most ferrets, if they have more than just a few sips, will have
runny stools as a result of consuming milk products.  Lots of rabbit hunters
fed milk to their ferret while out on hunts, and they don't seem to suffer,
but I can't say for sure if it is because of the infrequency or because the
ferrets are lactose-tolerant.
 
CHEESE: See Milk.  Occasional tiny chips of cheese don't seem to cause many
problems, but be careful not to give too much.
 
CHOCOLATE: Contains theobromide, which is poisonous in dogs.  There are lots
of reports of ferrets eating large amounts of chocolate without ill effects.
Most people argue that since it is toxic in dogs, it should be toxic in
ferrets, but one doesn't necessarily prove the other.  The occasional
chocolate chip is probably safe, but if you worry about it, subsitute carob
chips, also occasionally.
 
POTATO CHIPS AND FRENCH FRIES: Come on, these aren't even good for people;
they are full of salt and plant fat and starches hard for the ferret to
digest.  Ok, only occassionally, just because they love them so much, but I
didn't tell you, ok?
 
PEANUT BUTTER: The smooth stuff is a good treat, but too much is hard to
digest and can cause the runs.
 
COFFEE AND SODA: If caffinated, just remember the ferret already has a very
high heart rate and caffine can make it even faster.  These drinks, aside
from their addictive properties, are really not that good for you and I
know; I'm a world-class soda junkie.  Its best to keep them away from the
ferrets, but small occasional sips probably don't do much harm.
 
Bob C and 20 MO Soda Jerks
[Posted in FML issue 2329]