I am so sad, I have to tell you what I knew that one day I will have to
say, that my baby, my only child, my dearest Gigio is gone to heaven...
It happened last Friday, he went through surgery to have one lymph node
removed in his inner right thigh, then the vet noticed infiltration on
the other left side too, so he proceeded as well.  The surgery lasted
about 40 min, he was stable all the time, he was doing right, then, after
10 minutes when all the anesthesia was gone (isofluorane) he went into
breath failure and then into heart failure.  The vet tried everything to
make him come back but nothing could.
 
Gigio was 7 years 3 months and 14 days old, he was the only one, and
almost the first.  Before him I had Ferri who passed of pneumonia when he
was only 6 months old, I was devastated then, the vet that time was not
the right one for ferrets and I felt that it was the conclusion of a
series of mistakes that I was also participant.  Two months later I
received Gigio, a beautiful light sable, pink nose with freckles and the
hugest eyes that I have ever seen in a ferret.  I swear him that I would
be there for him all his life and that I would to all the possible to
keep him as healthy and happy as he deserved.  When I had to go to USA
for my postdoc I had to do paper work with two different secretaries
(agriculture and environment) for a long month going from one place to
other several times a week to get the permission to take him out of
Mexico.
 
He flied with me to New York and drove with me to Connecticut, he was my
loyal companion for more than a year there, I came back mostly for him,
because I felt so guilty that he had to spend all day long by his own
in the apartment with nobody around him, I felt I was stealing his best
years, so I made arrangements to come back as soon as possible, here
in Mexico I took him every morning to my mother's house where he had
breakfast and lunch and a couple of hours warranted of playing in her
garden daily, at night I was there to pick him up and bring him home
where he had dinner and slept with me in the bedroom, this guy had two
houses and two mothers to love him dearly, when he was not sleeping he
was in somebody's arms and was kissed all the time.  He didn't had any
major health problem, he was prone to have mast cell tumors on his skin
and a chordoma in the tip of his tail that was removed in his first 3
years of life.  He had melatonin implants that seemed to work fine for
him as he never got adrenals, nor insulinoma, but at the end he couldn't
escape from Lymphosarcoma (tumors were send to pathologist to confirm).
He had this death sentence over him, sooner or later he would have passed
away in the months coming... I keep repeating myself that it was better
this way, that he was doing fine, eating fine, sleeping fine, enjoying
life, he practically didn't knew what was to be ill and being loosing
strength day by day, but then this also hurt me because I feel that it
was not his time to go yet, that he could have been among us for few
months more...
 
I am totally desperate without this kid, all the house is still full of
his presence, even if yesterday I spend an entire day picking up his
stuff, washing things etc... I used to tell him: "Everything belongs
to Gigio" and it was true, and now that he was gone there is such
emptiness... I dreaded this day since the day he arrived to this house,
I have been all this years with a silent panic inside my heart, with the
terror to find out one morning that he was sick, and still preparing
myself to accept that their lives no matter how lucky they can be, is
very short compared to other animals or compared to ours.  I knew well,
but now there is no logic that could ease this deep acute pain.  I would
give everything I have, even entire years of my own life to keep on
kissing his lovely face, to smell his scent, to touch his silky fur, to
get lost in his huge bright eyes...
 
My baby, my dear baby I miss you SO much, I love you SO much.  I kept
few toys of yours in sealed bags to keep your scent on them, they are my
treasure now.  I put his ashes in a small argent container and placed it
in the living room.  I have seen your pictures, I cried and cried over
you my dear baby, you were such a cutie... and what is so unbearably
sad is that it seems just yesterday that you were a little kit and in a
blink of eyes you have become into ashes... I am afraid I won't have the
courage to live all this again, I don't think I would ever have other
ferret in my life, I adore them all, but having them each day and loving
them and knowing how fast time pass and felling all this heart ache again
is too much for me... Gigio has been my little baby and will be sorely
missed for a terribly long time...
 
Thank you for all this years of sense of being part of a great group of
people like you, that can understand how it feels to lose a furry baby,
that can understand this great love for them.  Thank you to all the
people that I met on this list, people with a lot of knowledge, and
people with a lot of heart, thank you to Gigio's Godmother.  I met some
of you during the ferret congress in St. Louis MO, thank you all for
good advices.
 
Gigio was without any doubts a little angel on earth, please all angel
ferrets and guardian of hope that welcome ferrets on the other side keep
an eye on my little treasure, he is such a good boy that loved sweet
treats (restricted to him for fear to insulinoma)
 
I hope he can taste as many as he wants now.  Gigio my sweet baby, mommy
loves you and will love you forever.
[Posted in FML issue 5329]