Hi All,
 
First off I am not leaving the ferret world or the FML I was just letting
everyone know I wouldn't be contributing for awhile in order to grieve
for my little girl lost RACY!!!!!
 
I AM TRULY BLESSED to have gone to check my e-mail and found 65 responses
from all of you about me and RACY!  I am overwhelmed at the outpouring of
love and caring from you as a group!  I am doing better but still crying
my eyes out, they are so puffed and red and raw and sore.
 
One reason I think I am doing better is that I prepared and buried RACY
yesterday and many of you that wrote mentioned ceremonies and rituals and
the like so I would like to share what I did to prepare RACY for her trip
over the RAINBOW BRIDGE.  Some may think this morbid in parts but it was
what I felt I HAD to do for her since it was the LAST thing I could do for
her.
 
My mother drove me to pick up my beloved RACY and she was wrapped in the
sweater I took her in with.  I took her to the car and gently unwrapped her
and held her next to my chest all the way home covered on the outside with
the most favorite sweater.  When I got home I found I could not stop holding
her for some time.  My Mom was crying sooooo hard and I told her she needed
to leave so she could calm down.  Plus I knew I needed to make preparations
for RACY'S trip that I knew she could not handle.  Once she was gone I used
the squeaky toy to call all my children to me and asked them to say goodbye
to RACY.  I layed her on a pillow and introduced them to her one by one....
They all kissed her goodbye and many tried to clean her face so she would
beam like a good guardian angel ferret should.  Lightstar was last and he
kept at her as tho he were trying to wake her.  It broke my heart once again
knowing they had been together all their lives and now I had taken her from
him.  I gently pulled him from her and cuddled him for a long time
explaining things to him.  He then calmed down and went away to sleep.  I
now felt the hardest part was over!
 
With all my other babies gone to sleep elsewhere I took Racy to the bathroom
to gently clean up her little butt where there had been a small accident.  I
then blowdryed her dry.  I realized I had to have pictures of her since they
would be the last.  The hardest part of it all was I could have sworn she
was just asleep and kept expecting her to wake up at any moment.  Of course
this was not to be.  I went to look for what would serve as her coffin.
While downstairs I ran across boxes of ferret related items and saw the 8
baby doll outfits I had purchased as costumes for them.  Damnit I said as I
knew I would never see RACY in hers.  So I decided it would go with her.  It
also had a tiny baby bottle with it.  I gathered up 3 big pom pom balls as
toys and went upstairs.  Once there I found a beautiful purple plastic
container of shoe box size.  I took it too.  I went inside and gently
cleaned Racy's ears because for some reason they had tons of gunk in them.
For the first time she did not fight this, Oh God what I would have given
for that fight!!!!  I combed her beautiful white hair so it layed perfectly
and then laid her on the favorite sweater on a pillow.  I took 2 rolls worth
of pictures.  Then I prepared Racy's provisions for the trip.  I snipped the
end off the tiny baby bottle and filled it with ferretone then melted the
tip back onto it to seal it.  Labeled it Ferretone and went on.  Next a
small plastic container received the following, on the bottom a good layer
of Nutri-Cal (her yummy) then an assortment of chunks of banana, cantaloupe
and pear (her three favorites) until it was filled to capacity, this I also
labeled.  Then a small baggie of her regular food with the brewer's & garlic
on it.
 
I took the purple plastic container and lined it with the favorite sweater.
Then placed the baby doll outfit on the bottom and the pom poms in various
places.  Now I held my beloved Racy for the last time and kissed her goodbye
repeating all I had told her at the vets before I left....  I took off her
collar but only to remove the nametag which mommy now wears close to her
heart.  I put the collar with her bells (so Taf and Hallie will here her
coming and maybe I'll hear her too sometimes when she comes to check on us)
on it back on her and laid her on top of the baby doll outfit.  Then I
placed the bag of food at her feet, the Nutrical & Fruit by her tummy and
the ferretone by her neck.  Then took another roll of pictures.  Oh God I
just didn't want to close that lid......  After folding the favorite sweater
over the top of her tho, I DID!  I duck taped the box securely closed and in
as decorative a way as I was capable of at that point.
 
My Mom came to help dig Racy's grave and I chose the prettiest spot in
back.  It is near the babbling brook (ditch) in front of a pretty tree
and next to a big land growing plant that blooms with tons of tiny white
flowers each summer.  The ground was frozen and darkness was approaching
but we worked on until it was ready.  I said words over her grave as I
covered the dark earth over her and cried yet again!!!!!  My final I'm
sorry and goodbye!
 
********************
 
I will work on Racy's euology as soon as I am able.  For now it nearly
killed me to write this.  I will always be the one who caused her death but
I will also always be the one who loved her the most and made her life the
best.  My other 7 babies have been loving me constantly since they know how
upset their Mommy is.....  They seem depressed too but at least they got to
say goodbye instead of their sister just disappearing off the face of the
earth with no explanation understandable to them.  I think they know now
that Racy has crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and it will ultimately be
easier on them.  I HOPE!  I will be back on the FML soon, yes this is a
warning!!!!!  Hopefully within a week or so.  Thanks again to all 65 of you
that wrote and to all you that perhaps shed a tear for Racy and said a
prayer for her as well........  WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!  Kelleen, Racy,
Lightstar, Fang, Silverada, Rowdy Shyla, Meetoo & Precious Plus doglets
Rascal & Silly
 
 
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*          Kelleen & The INSANE Animal House        *
*          [log in to unmask]                           *
*          President & Founder of                   *
 
*F.A.N.G. - Ferret Association of Neverending Glee  *
*Location : Boise, Idaho                            *
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*I'll take a good animal over a good mate anyday,   *
*all THEY want is lots of love and great chow!!!!   *
 
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[Posted in FML issue 1365]