Hello everyone!  I'm Mikette, I'm my Mommy's first ferret.  The other
day I heard her laughing so hard while reading FML that I had to come
investigate.  She was hysterical over a note by a ferret from the Gang of
Five (I can't remember the name exactly).  I don't see what was so funny -
that was a very troublesome ferret!  I on the other hand am a very good
ferret, very helpful to my Mommy.  I thought I should write as an example
of proper ferret behavior.
 
Unlike some other ferrets (I won't name any names, partly because I can't
remember them) I am constantly helping Mommy.  When she reads I make sure
to get in the pages and help turn them, I try to do this quickly to keep
her reading speed up.  If she's brushing her teeth I scratch at her leg
until she puts me in the sink to supervise, after all proper hygiene is
important.  When she works on the computer I work hard pulling myself up
the chair so that I can go over the keyboard to spell check before she is
done.  When she eats I make sure to insist on the first bite to check the
quality.  Often this involves leaping from the couch to the coffee table
if she's not sharing .
 
I also have a lot of cleaning responsibilites.  I'm the official duster of
all bottom shelves.  Occasionally I have to stretch, climb, and jump to
check on the higher shelves.  Mommy mops the floor herself, but when I see
she hasn't done it lately I put a little something in the corner to remind
her.  On trash day as she opens the cabinet to get the barrel I quickly
scoot in to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything.  She loves that, but
she really rushes me and pulls me out too quickly.  When she washes dishes
(such a boring job) I lay my head on her feet and beg to be put on the
counter.  Not that I want to be up there really, I just feel it's my job to
entertain her while she does this dull chore.  Sometimes to really liven
things up I try lean all the way forward to see the drawers, it's fun
watching her run to me with her hands all sudsy!  Mommy does the laundry
(I'm not allowed near the machines) but I do my part by checking all the
washed clothes to be sure they're clean enough.  O ne of my hardest tasks
is keeping her organized.  I make sure to keep all important items (such as
oven mitts, keys, pens, etc) in a safe place under the bed.  This way I can
keep an eye on them while I nap.  I've caught her more than once trying to
sneak them out when she thought I was sleeping.
 
As you can see my Mommy needs lots of help, but I don't stop there!  When
we go to Grandma's I'm very helpful in the garden.  Grandpal feeds his dog
a lot so I keep him exercised with well-timed nips to the paws.  The dog
catches on quicker than humans, he now starts running as soon as he sees
me coming.
 
Of course my greatest efforts are for the humans.  Whenever I meet a new
one I make sure to give them a warm, fuzzy 'up the pant leg' greeting.  I
feel this is an important act for human-ferret relations!  I also help
entertain Mommy's friends; if a guest seems bored I make sure to attack
their ankles until things liven up.  I don't get much thanks for this, but
hey - I do what I can anyways.
 
Sorry this got so long but as you can see I'm a very busy ferret.  I have
a little sister, but she's really not much help at all.  I have to do
most everything myself!  Well, I just wanted to let you know that not all
ferrets are such trouble.  I use my fuzzie energy for good not evil!
 
Oh no, Mommy is trying to change the bed sheets without me!  Sorry to hurry
off but she needs my help...really she does!
 
[Mikette]
[Posted in FML issue 3136]