Obi passed away yesterday.  About a week ago I noticed that he had a hard
spot on his tummy, I took him into the vet and they took an x-ray, and
it showed his spleen and liver were enlarged, they also drew blood, and
found him to also be anemic, which the vet told me was tied to the spleen
condition.
 
In order to know what was going on inside of him, they offered the option
of doing an exploratory surgery, we had this done today, and found that
he had tumors on both his liver and spleen and there was not much they
could do for him.  I asked about bringing him home, so he could be around
his family before he passed away, and if there would be anything we could
give him for the pain, but the vet said no, not with all of the damage he
had found, that it would only get worse and he did not have anything that
would help make it any easier for my Chubb Chubb.
 
The other option was to have him put to sleep, as he was already under
the anesthesia, so all he would do continue to sleep and simply never
wake up.
 
That's a terrible statement that has to stand alone, because it is
the worst thing I have ever been asked to do.  How does one make that
decision and feel good about it?
 
All I could do is cry and keep apologizing for crying on the phone to the
vet, I decided to allow him to simply continue sleeping a peaceful sleep,
rather then watch him be in pain and rapidly deteriorate and not be able
to much more then cry over it all - either way I would be crying, but at
least he would not have to suffer and no one here would have to watch
helplessly as he did so.
 
I hated making that decision, hated it, and I had only minutes to make
up my mind, so it made it even more difficult to have to say yes to.  I
asked them if they could wait for me to come out there and be with him
before he passed, but they told me they could not keep him under
anesthesia for that long and that if I made that decision, they would
need to do it right then.  It was horrible, simply horrible, but I said
yes, because I love my Obi and I didn't want to see him suffer at all.
 
I phoned my husband and told him what was going on and told him I did not
want to have to drive over there by myself, so he took off work early and
came and got me and we went to the vet.  They were so nice to us; they
gently swaddled him in a nice soft blanket and handed to me as if he was
a new born baby.  He looked so peaceful and so sweet and all I wanted him
to do was to open his eyes and give me that content look he gets when I
cuddled him like this at home.
 
How can this be happening?  He was pretty alive this morning, doing ok,
not getting around like he use to, but he seemed, well he seemed still so
much alive, and then, hours later I find out that he won't be, not for
much longer.  I had no days in order to get ready for this, no time to
know that the inevitable would happen, I had only minutes and as precious
as they were, and I felt like I somehow squandered them because if only I
had known - should have known there was something wrong and seen to it
sooner could he still be here, safe and warm and alive?
 
Sandee, Obi is one of my favorites, he loved to bite wet toes - my
HUSBANDS wet toes - but wet toes all the same, he loved to be cuddled and
played with and hugged and adored and loved.  We called him our Chubby
Telatubbie, and because he was so Chubby, that lead to everyone "rubbing
the belly of the furry Buddha" and enjoying the way he would Tigger hop
around the house.  Watch out for this jolly, loveable fellow won't you?
He has followed Hobbes to the Rainbow Bridge too soon for my heart to be
ready for him to go, and I can't be there to see him arrive.
 
Missing Obi BIG time,
 
Sandy, Ken, Bee and then we were four...
[Posted in FML issue 5081]