Today is a very hard day for me.  I read that my hero White Russian died.
I can't begin to tell you how deeply this affected me and how I feel right
now.  I'd like to however, share with you, the first time I ever saw him.
 
I was online surfing, and I saw this ferret that nearly made me fall off
my chair.  I never saw anything like him before or ever since.  He looked
like a fluffy (but not fat) panda bear.  He had this great spark in his
eye, and a mouth that always looked like he was "smiling".  A laid back
panda bear baby.  What striking markings he had.  I took that photo and
showed my family this new ferret that now had God like stature with me.
We were all in awe.  Later I found out that he was from an aussie/NZ line
of ferrets that were so spunky they even had some aggression.  Ah see he
is not perfect I thought.  But his face still looked "different".  I just
had to know him.  After inquiring about him, I come to find that his
disposition matched his looks.  A gentle giant he was.  Full of love and
life.  And that was the first time I ever saw his face.
 
This is how I want to remember the majestic White Russian.  I don't want
to remember the day that I found out that the ferret I worshipped fell
ill.  I don't want to remember him as "an ADV ferret".  "Infected".  I
don't want to, I don't want to.  But the fact remains that he quickly
became the poster child of ADV.  This was because he was the very last
ferret on the face of this earth that you would think would fall to ADV.
And how could God let this strike such an angel?  It was too much to
fathom, and at times still is.  His reason for being was said to inspire
people to fight ADV.  That is what it seems.  But that is not all he was
here for.  He was here to make my day that first day I saw his face.  He
was here to make his mommy the proudest mommy of all to have that cuddly
boy.  He was here to make peoples mouths drop at the very site of him.
He was here to play and run with his mommy.  And he did.  He did it all.
And I regret that I never got to hold that majestic animal.
 
I don't regret that I will not have to hear him cough over the phone
again.  I don't regret seeing such a gorgeous animal in my life, and to
laugh at that smile on his face.  I don't regret getting to know and
meeting his Mommy, Judy Gronwald..  my new friend.  I don't regret that
he was associated with ADV and forever will be.  I don't regret all he's
done to help ferrets with ADV and that will get ADV in the future.
 
I have been trying to figure out why its so hard to say good bye to this
animal I have never met in person.  Is it because he stood for the fight
against ADV that I support?  Is it because he was so pretty?  Was it the
smile?  I figured out it is everything.  I figured out it is hard to say
good-bye because there is no good-bye.  I figured out that in my mind he
is a legend.  And legends don't die.  So there is no good-bye for me.
 
Russian?  I'll look for you in heaven when I get there.  So I can see you
smile at me and so I can hold you like in my dreams.
 
Wolfy
 
Please visit:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/
for information on ferret deafness:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/deaf.html
[Posted in FML issue 3783]