PORTLAND, OR - Members of KEWLKRITTERS, part the radical Ferret Liberation
Organization in SE Portland staged a daring pre-dawn escape this date.
 
FLO members were able to bypass the security devices on their holding cell
which allowed them access to the dining and recreation facilities.  Mist
Mischief, a member of a FLO sympathizer group known as KAT assisted the
escape by breaching the barriers to other parts of the compound.
 
The escape was discovered when some escapees were found attempting the
release of another FLO member that was in a segregation unit.  All escapees
were in custody after a brief chase by facility personnel.  A riot broke
out shortly after the escapees were returned to the holding facility.
Bedding was stripped, food dishes and litter boxes were overturned.
 
Later, when asked about the escape, most FLO members responded, "Escape?
What escape?  Gotta raisin ?".  One member, Cinnabon Lafurrette had been
quoted at capture as saying, "It's not our fault!  It's the new guy...he...
he...he said he was a genie !  Yeah, that's it - said he was a genie and
would grant us all the nutri-stat we wanted if freed !!  Yeah, that sounds
good.  It was fuzzy mind control !".  Experts disputed this saying that
Fuzzy Mind Control or FMC only works on hoomans, cats, and other less
intelligent animals.
 
Facility spokespersons indicated that more security devices have been added
to prevent future escapes.  When asked for a comment, Facility Manager
Kevin Bonner responded "DOH!!!!!".
 
We now return you to your regular FML
[Posted in FML issue 2958]