Q: "I am a strict [vegetarian]....I want to place my ferret on a diet as
    meat free as possible.  I hate the idea that animals have to die to
    feed my pet.  Any suggestions?"
 
A: Not any which excludes the introduction of several sticks of ignited
   dynamite into various body orifices.
 
The ferret is a PRIMARY/STRICT/OBLIGATE carnivore; they are designed to eat
other animals--not plants.  It is who and what they are; if you like, that
is how God made them.  While I am sure you can find several testimonials
from vegans supporting vegetarian diets for dogs and cats (and perhaps even
ferrets), those which I have seen have lacked scientific support, long-term
study on the health effects, and simply seem to be more of a political
advertisement for a meatless life-style rather than a scientific study of
an alternative food source.  Personally, and I admit I might be wrong,
but I think NO diet is as good for the ferret than one most like the diet
polecats evolved eating.  Considering the ferret's physiological and
metabolic needs, I cannot think of a single plant-based diet that would
even come close to providing a healthy alternative and I challenge ANYONE
to scientifically prove me wrong.
 
As for the worry about animals dying to feed a ferret, there is a mythology
about vegetarianism that is misleading and factually incorrect about it's
impact on animals.  While a vegetarian diet does not require the killing of
animals for consumption, it STILL results in the widespread death and loss
of animal species as the result of it's practice.  How?  Because every acre
of land placed under cultivation displaces (and kills, either from loss of
habitat or starvation) animal species through the process of loss of
habitat.  Just exactly how many farmers welcome gophers or rabbits into
their fields?  How many species of animals do you see making a living in
acres of soybeans?  The single most destructive force in the history of
mankind used against land animal species has been agriculture.  Not all,
but most of the extinctions and endangerments of land animal (and plant)
species can be directly traced to monocultural farming and ranching
practices; very few are actually related to overhunting.  So, while
vegetarians might not actually consume animals, farming practices STILL
result in their widespread death and extinction.  (I don't wish to get
in an FML debate on this issue; I guarantee you will lose.  I recognize
species like the passenger pigeon, fisher, bison and beaver were
overhunted, but they are only a few species compared to the thousands
lost when farming and ranching reduced or eliminated habitat.  In truth,
the real problem is too damn many humans.  Soylent Green, anyone?)
 
Being a vegetarian is a personal and perhaps political decision, which for
an omnivorous species like humans, is probably mostly benign.  I support
the individual right of a person to decide for themselves to accept such
a lifestyle.  For an obligate carnivore such as a ferret, which eats very
little plant food (and lacks the metabolic ability to do so), vegetarianism
is minimally potentially dangerous, and perhaps even abusive and unfair.
Arguments that ferrets carry away broccoli, carrots and potatoes are just
stupid; they eat rubber bands as well.  Just because they might want
something doesn't mean they SHOULD get eat it.  Most animals will readily
drink auto coolant if available, only to die horrible deaths.  The
willingness of a ferret to eat something is NOT evidence it is good for
them to eat.  What is good for them to eat is a diet which is metabolically
digestible, provides all essential nutrients, and does not result in
disease or injury.  I am NOT convinced a vegetarian diet would satisfy
those needs in the ferret and would need substantial scientific evidence
before I could be convinced.  Don't hold your breath.
 
Bob C and 16 Mo' Obligate Carnivorous Dynamite Igniters
[Posted in FML issue 3007]