What a weekend!  I was supposed to meet some friends in St. Louie, then go
to a seminar.  I car pooled with a buddy who was broadsided, or might I say
bobsided (my side) by a lady in a monster pickup truck.  I'm ok, just a few
broken ribs and bruises.  Never saw the friends, but made it to the seminar
late.  No, I wasn't driving.  Actually, I was dozing in the passenger seat,
so leave me alone.  Anyway, after I returned on Sunday, I decided to move my
library out of the dungeon and upstairs, which was finally finished being
remodeled.  Because of my sore thoracic structural supports, I loosed a
filecabinet that smashed the phonejack.  Normally, rewiring it is a piece of
cake, right?  Nope; ol' dummy was loaded on pain meds and ended up rewiring
three phone numbers into one.  It was cool, though.  You could pick up the
phone and dial a number, and all three phones would work at the same time.
BTW, did you know you could get some irritating shocks from phone wires?  I
wisely called the phone company to fix it for me, and went to bed.  Today I
called the Starving Students to move the stuff.
 
Q: (Private Post): Since you dislike the Egyptian ferret origin so much,
   what should I say?
 
A: I think you should say Bob is a great guy that everyone on the FML should
   send 10 bucks to each week.  No?  Five bucks?  Would you consider old
   wrappers from recent Big Mac purchases?
 
You can try this (or your own words):
 
"The origin of the domesticated ferret, unlike that of many domesticated
species, is still unknown.  Historical documents from Greece mention the
ferret about 450 BC, and Roman documents mention the use of ferrets to hunt
rabbits at about the time of Christ, but these were already domesticated
animals.  To this date, no skeletal remains have been recovered which could
be shown to be ancient domesticated ferrets.  Most evidence supports the
idea the ferret was domesticated from the European polecat, but the idea
that the ferret was domesticated from the steppe polecat, although unlikely,
has not been ruled out.
 
One popular notion is the ferret was domesticated by the Egyptians, but this
idea has little evidence to support it.  Considering the rich and varied
faunal remains and mummies recovered in Egypt, and the lack of European or
steppe polecats within that region, it is probably untrue.  Another idea is
the ferret was already domesticated by the time it entered the Mediteranean
area.  While this idea is more likely, it still suffers from a lack of
evidence, but explains the historical documents and fits the modern
biological evidence.  A third idea is the ferret was domesticated in the
Mediteranean area, perhaps in Greece or by the Phoenicans, but again, this
idea is happered by a lack of evidence.
 
What is likely is the ferret was domesticated to hunt small animals,
primarily rabbits, with the side benefit of domain mousing.  It is likely
that the ferret was most popular with the lower classes, which would explain
the lack of early evidence and documentation (Until recently, archaeologists
didn't concern themselves with the common people; royal tombs and golden
artifacts were the primary goal).  This emphasis has shifted in recent
years, and it is likely that archaeological remains will be found that can
be conclusively shown to be from the domesticated ferret.  Some may already
exist, stored in museums, awaiting the careful study of a future
zooarchaeologist.  Until then, the origin of the ferret is obscure, with a
probable date of domestication prior to 2500 years ago.
 
Q: (Private Post) You stated you thought ferrets needed mental stimulation
   to stay healthly. Don't their toys do the job?
 
A: I've seen some toys that have stimulated my mind, but that's another
   story, heh heh heh.  Of course I'm talking about power tools.
 
Actually, there are some cool papers on the subject, although most are in
German (if really interested, write and I'll email the reference) One in
particular studied the activity patterns of ferrets in a known environment,
then compared the same ferret's behavior when new stuff was placed in the
room.  They found the ferrets ACTIVITY levels increased.  The explaination
was the ferrets use pattern recognition in prey location.  For example,
finding a penny in a handful of pocket chance is fairly easy; you just look
for something a coppery color.  I use the same technique when surveying for
bones; I don't look at everything, I just scan for things the color or shape
of bone, then look only at the likely objects.
 
Pattern recognition is a good way for predators to save energy, because they
don't waste time or effort looking at everything; they just look at the
likely stuff.  With ferrets, it doesn't matter if it is prey or toys, the
same stuff breeds (for lack of a better term) boredom.  New stuff not only
stimulates the ferts immediately, but it also causes them to look around for
MORE new stuff.  Two benefits (Mental stimulation, physical activity) for
the price of one.  Cool.
 
Q: (Private Post) What do you like best about ferrets?
 
A: How they taste with roasted garlic.
 
There isn't any one thing.  All I know is when I watch them play, or they
attack my feet, or one lays down beside me, or any number of useless things,
I am filled to the depth of my soul with love and affection for the little
poop rats.  They have their ferret lives and they include me within it.
Dogs think you are another dog, and cats think you are stupid.  But ferrets
think, well, they think you are fun.
 
Mo' Bob and the 18 Mo' Fried Ferts.
[Posted in FML issue 1855]