Hi Everyone:
 
I hope BIG will indulge me once for this rather longish letter but I really
wanted to thank everyone for a favor that you don't know you did for me!
 
Back in September, I ordered some items from a company that has really
lovely ferret things.  I waited the 4-6 weeks for delivery as stipulated in
the ad and received nothing.  I wrote a letter to the company - I got no
response.  I found the items had been charged to my Mastercard on Oct. 14.
I then left between 10 to 14 messages om the company's voicemail - no
response.  I finally reached someone who said the owner was out of town and
he would leave a message for her.
 
She did call finally and said the items had gone out on Oct.  14.  After
some discussion about what had happened to it, she agreed to reship an told
me I would receive it not later than the Friday after Thanksgiving.  It did
not arrive.
 
I left one more message on her voicemail Sunday and said that if I didn't
get my order immediately, I'd get on the FML and give her some really bad
press-my things arrived today!
 
I feel certain that my mention of a bad review to all FML readers was
responsible for the speedy arrival of my order so THANK YOU ALL for just
being there.  I had no idea of how much influence this wonderful group has!
 
Now a short, hopefully cute story.  I decided to teach my Magnificent Seven
to use their poo-pan before coming out of their cage for playtime.
 
The fist one to use the box was my champagne angora, Lars.  I rewarded him
with a raisin while he was still in the cage.  He ate the raisin and jumped
back in the box so I decided he hadn't really finished business so I
rewarded him with a second raisin.  He returned to the box once again and
looked very much like he was doing his thing.  Five raisins later it dawned
on me that he was playing me like a violin.  This could have gone on
indefinately if I hadn't caught on..  It is difficult to believe that any
creature can learn this quickly - he has tried this routine constantly but I
think he has finally realized I'm not taking the bait anymore.
 
So be on your guard - I think these guys are even more intelligent than we
already give them credit for - a rather frightening idea.  This afternoon I
found they had gotten my credit cards and knocked my portable phone off the
receiver.  If I get a bill from Neiman Marcus for chocolate covered raisins,
I'm going to contest it.
 
Thanks for reading this and, again, thanks for being there!
 
Mary, Joel and the Magnificent Seven (Cohen)
[Posted in FML issue 1775]