I don't often post to the FML although I read every digest from start to
finish almost every day, and have done so for the past five years (#2540
was my first issue).  It has always been a great source of information
and, when I needed it, comfort and understanding from a huge number of
FML subscribers.  I can't count how many times I was brought to tears
over people's heartfelt support over my ferret troubles.
 
On January 10 of this year I posted an innocent message asking how to
best warm and comfort one of my ferrets (Pippin) who is rather old and
has several medical conditions.  While this message generated (as usual)
an overwhelming amount of support and suggestions, there was one person
on this list who took it upon him/herself to assume a complete
understanding of Pippin's life and situation, as well as automatically
(and incorrectly) assuming that my query was more to soothe my own psyche
rather than make Pippin more comfortable.  This person's two paragraph
diatribe appeared in the FML the day after my own.  At at no point did
this person ever email me and ask for additional information before
making all of these false assumptions and personal attacks on my
integrity; it was a soap box oration against me based purely on
supposition extrapolated from my single posting on January 10.
 
The message stung me primarily because of the automatic (and 100%
false) assumption that I was being cruel to my ferret in order to make
myself feel better. It blew my mind that such callousness and cruelty
could come from someone on the FML. It doubly shocked me to know that
Listmaster Bill allowed this personal attack on me that came completely
out of left field.
 
I composed a response to the person who attacked me and submitted it
to the FML, but it was rejected by Listmaster Bill on the basis of
"attack(ing) the person instead of the facts".  Clearly this is a
double-standard; the person who attacked me had almost no factual
information, made claims that were completely false, had no supporting
evidence, and was clearly attacking me personally -- yet this post was
permitted.  I'm not disagreeing that my rejected response was rather
acerbic but at the very least my rejected response contained concrete,
factual information in it.
 
Just about my entire view of the FML is now tainted and this entire
experience -- both with the person who attacked me and with the
double-standard policy in effect -- has left a putrid taste in my mouth.
I am no longer confident that my innocent postings won't be met with bile
and hatred, nor do I feel the assurance that equal standards are applied
to all members.
 
If personal attacks aren't allowed on the FML (a policy which,
incidentally, I wholeheartedly agree with) then the original hateful
response to my initial query should not have been allowed either -- yet
it was and I'm not permitted to respond to it.  There's a fly in the FML
ointment and it bothers me that it's not being appropriately addressed.
Hateful people are being permitted to post personal attacks, but the
targets of those attacks aren't allowed to respond.  That's not right.
 
So, to everyone except one or two people, thank you for your support over
the years and good luck with your endeavors.  Unless something truly
remarkable happens I'll be canceling my subscription in a couple of days
(more or less to see if Listmaster Bill allows this to be posted).  I'm
hoping to find a more fair-minded forum elsewhere, hopefully one with
less hateful people and true equality amongst all of its members.  If
anyone has any suggestions to that effect, please email me.  Thanks.
 
With love,
   --Steve, Bubo and Pippin
 
[Moderator's note: I'd feel quite sorry to see Steve leave.  We did
exchange a few quite civil e-mails over this and it's a shame we were
unable to come to an acceptable agreement regarding these posts.  BIG]
[Posted in FML issue 4393]