Condolences to those with lost, missing, or angeled sneaker sniffers...
 
You said:
 >My 9 mo old ferret wants absolutely nothing to do with being held...
 
There are two things you can try that work almost immediately.
 
1) Try picking up your ferret after she's been asleep for at least 1/2
hour.  While she is so drowsy, she should be easy to pick up and snuggle
with.  She will most likely wake up while being held.  Snuggle her, talk
softly to her and try not to squeeze or restrain her...just let her lay
against you, while keeping as much of your body around her as possible.
Eventually she may wish to get down...don't stop her from doing this.
Once she knows she can get down when she wants to, she will know that its
OK to be comfortable, without being forced to do so.
 
2) Pick her up and hold her while you give her snacks.  You can also pick
her up to teach her tricks.  While distracted by snacks or trick-training,
you can hold her in a variety of ways.  This will satisfy your need/desire
to hold her, while also showing her that being held isn't such a bad thing.
 
Good luck!
 
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 3472]