Phil and I are resolving the ferret housing thing well. He was
thoroughly overwhelmed with going through my surgery with me -- it was
much too much for him take on any new strains, and for him the ferts
were a strain. Of course for me the ferts would have been a soothing
and infusing thing during the crucial times of preparation and the
immediate days after the surgery. But in the end I went with the love
for Phil. He had just lost his wife 9 months ago, after two years of
struggle. And we were going to the same hospitals to which they had
gone, trying to save her. His level of stress was huge, but at the same
time he wanted to protect me from it, so I didn't understand how hard
it actually was -- one's imagination isn't always so accurate when the
other person is silent -- or, actually, lying! And of course he was
doing that to protect me. I was pretty relaxed, all in all about what
was coming up -- and a lot of that was due to pHil's dear, comforting,
matter-of-fact "lovingkindness. " Ah my.

I made a couple of tactical errors in introducing the ferts to Phil
when I first arrived here with them. For one thing, this is a no-shoes
house, so pretty much right away P got repeatedly bitten on the toes
by the bouncers. Then, in an attempt to show how delightful playing
ferrets are, I got into the bathtub w/o clothes and w the 5 ferts.
Well, since my skin is now so very thin, I got scratched up a lot.
To me, this is nothing, but it was something of a horror for him.

In retrospect, what might have worked better was to have left my
clothing on and to have played only w the two mellow ferts -- or just
one. But instead, I showed him what I myself love -- the rambunctious
wild play. The clothing bit was that, though i knew I'd be scratched,
I love to feel them on my skin, plus I'd been wearing good clothing. So
that is how we got off onto a bad start. Then, this house is so well
insulated that any smells stay inside. Plus I am not so sensitive to
smells, But most and worst was the fact that i couldn't keep up with
the necessary cleaning. Though I thought i was pretty blase about the
surgery, that was where I broke down. I couldn't bear to do anything
"extra."

So, thank God, we soon found a nice young woman and family to take
care of the ferrets for us. She is a lovely person, a good mother --
quite remarkable in her loving nature, balanced with keeping things in
control. She works at a vet, and she runs a small rescue out of her
house. Her children play with the ferts a lot and are involved with
keeping the bedding (most;ly ROSE GERMAN's), the cage (it's half of
my custom MARTIN's CAGE) and the KRITTER KORRAL clean.

So, now the solution w are working on. We're having a little
cottage/shed built/brought in and a fenced area made in the back yard.
The cottage will be my studio and ferret house, and that is where I
will do most of my art and sewing and ferret loving. There will be
plenty of time for me to do that by myself, and Phil will hang with
me there too. I imagine that he will come to love the ferts as time
passes.

Shortly before the surgery I was bugging Phil to let us get started
with this back-yard project. I wanted the ferrets here when I got our
of the hosp. Though I had no idea of it, I was making him crazy by
proposing a construction project at his place-- he finds them terribly
disruptive. Me, I don't, and I was feeling so put upon -- why CAN'T
I have my ferrets when I wake up???? I NEED them! What is the matter?
What is going ON here? Finally I realized what he was going through,
thank God. Then it was easy to let it go. I'm so glad to be in a mental
state that let's me see better what is going oin.

Fri we'll go to look at a place that makes and installs these things.

I am still very tired. The day is a cycle -- pleasant, Thank God --
of energy rises and falls. It is lovely to just lie down when I wane.
Sometimes I forget that I can and keep pushing, given my nature, but
here I go. See you later.

[Posted in FML 6187]