Like Sukie, I think one of the first thing's that came to my mind when
I read this thread was, "how can we better prepare shelters, all ferret
owners, for such a situation so it doesn't happen again?" Sukie, you
had a great point in suggesting that those that participate in this
conversation only be experienced shelter operators. I'm glad that you
suggested other professionals to chime in as well. I'm not an expert
or professional at anything, but I'm a very experienced ferret owner.
I am a mother with 21 years of experience with raising children, and a
mother of a special needs child who had violent tendencies. I also have
a little bit of personal experience with introducing ferrets to special
needs children. So although limited, maybe I can kick this thing off?
I'm not going to premise this with any of my feelings regarding the
incident. I'd be pointless. Worthless. What I will do is share some
thoughts on like circumstances based on what I do know.

I tend to freeze up in situations and become the proverbial deer in
headlights. So I do sympathize with someone who does go through that
(not saying in this situation necessarily). So what I do, is when I
experience something that catches me off guard, or when I see/read
something that I know would snaggle me, I mentally practice what
to do over and over. I have to. I got sick of the regret and the
embarrassment of not reacting long ago. It helps prevent some
situations for me. Right away, in my mind, I visualized me being in a
pet store, and someone's child all of a sudden doing something to a
ferret like what happened in Sandi's shelter. What should I do? Where
and how do I stand? What expressions and tones should I use? And
exactly what words should I say? I then memorize what I'd say. Then
I imagine possible reactions from the parents, onlookers and store
managers. What will I say to this, that, etc if someone says something
in argument to me? There. Problem solved. Now if I run into a similar
situation, my mouth and body will take over like a reflex long before
I have time to be shocked.

The likelihood of a ferret owner/protector coming across an ill behaved
child interacting with their ferret is not just high, but certain. So,
as Sukie said, it'd be good to discuss how to id a situation, how to
prevent any sort of sticky situation from even arising, and what tools
to use in order to do that, and most importantly what tools to use in
case a situation occurs before you can prevent it.

So we need an action plan right? And please everyone, the simpler, the
better, and the more likely it will be followed. As soon as you add
this politically correct detail, and that detail, the process will be
so verbal and complicated, no one will follow it. I'm very much scatter
brained today, so I'll just touch on some things to get the discussion
going.

Bare bones for unplanned walk-ins:

Id the situation: Any child who would walk through a shelter's doors.
Any. Key point: Do no assume the parents and/or child is fine. Do not
assume the parents will watch the child. Let's look at this as if the
child walks in alone.

Steps:
- Ferret owner stops both people in their tracks at the door, then
explains to the parent that what you are about to do and say is just
a standard thing you do with everyone (nothing is personal, no one
is being singled out) in order to protect the animals as well as the
child. There are no exceptions. All must go through this.
- Sit the child down. Not standing. Have them sit down in a neutral
room where there is no TV or radio on, no people milling about and
especially no animal to take their attention. Kneel down to their
level. Get close and get that eye contact going. Explain to the child
that in order for him to even lay eyes on a ferret, you both have to
discuss the rules and most importantly what repercussions will happen
if they slip up. And only if he pays attention and can repeat them back
can he go further. This is something VERY important with special needs
kids. Everywhere we go with a sp needs child we do this before we walk
into a situation. When we pull up somewhere in the car, they are not
allowed to get out of the car ... until we take a breath. We A) tell
them what is going to happen, what we are going to do, what they will
see, etc. B) and list the rules. Oh my gosh, the temper tantrums and
trouble that this prevents is unreal. I can personally tell you what
a difference something this stupid makes.

- Rules As you list each rule, question the child, " There is
absolutely no running or jumping in here. Just very slow walking. Now
what did I just say?" You'll be floored how often they can't repeat it
back from the lack of attention. It's really, really important to keep
pausing and doing this though. What rules should there be? This is
where the shelter operators come in. Each shelter is set up different,
so sometimes rules will need to be customized. For example, where to
talk to the child before they enter a shelter or come in contact with
animals. Have a place in mind NOW. What chair. Where. It'll be a
routine. And as I said the shorter and sweeter the the rules are, the
better. Maybe a blue print could be set up here of what to do. Or
maybe you guys would just like to share your own personal plans to
help others.

- Repercussions if rules are not followed.
What repercussions should there be for not following the rules. I know
one thing, if there are any chances handed out, there should be one
misstep allowed and one only. That should be clear when parent and
child walk through the door. "Johnny, what did you just do? You jumped.
What did I say? No jumping. That's it. That's your chance. Do it again,
and you'll be out of the door. For now, go sit in the chair for a
minute and think ......" So given your shelter what can those
punishments, so to speak, be when rules are broken? What do you say?
What do you say to the parents?

Lay it out in your mind, so you mind does this all robotically like
brushing your teeth.

For a normal visit that is planned and for volunteers:
Some people might want to do some "training" with kids if they'd like
the kids to interact with the animals. Having a stuffed ferret at hand
would be a great tool so that the operator can give a demonstration to
the child (and parent) about how to handle them. You all could come up
with little plans as far as how to walk them through the actual
structure and take them through the motions of things.

It's really important though, given the lazy nature of today's parents,
that you really take the time to firmly tun towards the parents of a
child and assertively tell them what the rules and expectations are, as
well as what the repercussions for not abiding by them will be when
they enter the shelter. Then flat out, and very cooly tell them that it
is THEIR job to make sure the child follows all steps and rules that
you have in place that you are about to discuss. That it is their job
to keep an eye on things. That it is their job to take control if
things get out of control. And make it clear that if they fudge on it?
You will be the one taking control and they might not like how you do
that. Because believe me, today's parents are all too happy to assume
this will be between you and their child. That its your job to get them
through the visit. You're going to run into more parents who will lay
back and shirk their responsibility and put it onto you, than an over
reactive one who will get offended easily at you telling their child
what to do or admonishing them for not doing the right things. You need
to make up your mind before all of this what your mind set is. Will it
be easier for you to take total control of the child's visit and to
take that role? Or is it more to your liking to force the parent to do
the job, take the role of supervisor, and then if they don't, be harsh
and toss them to the streets? The answer is simple. You do which ever
way you know you'll stick to.

Oh one last thing. Yes it is your business and your right to ask if a
visiting child is special needs and what the handicap is. It's your
duty to ask if they've ever had any past misdoings with animals or
small children/babies. To ask if they tend to be physically hyper and
impulsive. To ask if they they have anger or violent issues. If the
parent acts odd about the questions, they can get the hell out, let me
tell you. Sean was violent. And I always, always volunteered that to
other parents. I told his teachers each year, 'I know Sean's condition
is supposed to be private and that you don't tell other parents what's
wrong with your students, but not only am I giving you permission to
do so, I"m ASKING you to do so for their own children's protection.
I'd honestly hope if Sean were to be in contact with a child who has
violent tendencies or is psychotic that the parent would offer that to
me". If any of the answers to the above questions are yes ..... then a
direly different route should be taken with that visiting child, IF any
route should be taken at all. Even for the most severe of situations,
"something" can be worked out however. Training with a stuffed animal,
etc, among other things. In addition you could request that the child
stay out of the ferret area, seated in a chair, and you could bring a
ferret to him which you would hold in front of them. You could use
your hand on the child's hand to guide them into stroking the animal.

[Posted in FML 6582]