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Subject:
From:
Doug Gerald <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 16 Mar 1996 22:13:56 -0500
Content-Type:
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Spring is finally in sight.  This year it will occur on April 3-5.
Greetings again from the great white way.  I do not have anything
constructive, instructive, or destructive to say, but I hope these will
lighten your day......
 
                    ************
 
A nice young woman answers a "Ferret for Sale" ad in the newspaper.  She
pays the owner $150.00 and indicates that she will be back the next day with
a carrier to pick up her new pet.
 
Returning the next day to collect her fuzzie, the former owner informs her,
to her dismay, that the animal took ill during the night and passed away.
The formar owner also refuses to give the woman her money back, saying....
 
"It was alive when you bought it, so it's your problem, not mine."
 
For obvious reasons, the woman is upset, but carefully places the deceased
ferret in the carrier and leaves.
 
Seeing the unethical pet owner, by chance the next week, she informs him
that she was able to get a bit more than $200.00 for the poor ferret.
 
"The heck you say!", replies the man. "How on earth did you do that?"
 
"Why I sold 210 raffle tickets, for $1.00 each", she answers happily.
 
"That's impossible .... what about all those unhappy people?", the man
flashed back.
 
"Oh", says the woman, "there was only one unhappy person ...
 
 and I gave *him* his money back."
 
                    ***************
 
This one's for you, Bob Church ....
 
The Alaska chapter of the CDFA receives a fax from Sacramento demanding a
list of all known feral ferret colonies in the U.S. of A.
 
A prompt and courteous reply is sent stating that there are no known such
feral colonies.
 
The next afternoon a surley obnoxious voice demands the same list over the
telephone.  A gentle, reassuring voice responds again, telling the woman
that there are no known feral ferret colonies in the U.S.
 
Two days later the woman, dressed in CF&G green, goose-steps into the
office, having flown first class to Alaska at taxpayer expense.
 
She pounds a tanned, meaty fist on the counter, and demands yet again a
current list of all known feral ferrets in the U.S. of A.
 
With great dignity and composure, the office manager replies ...
 
"Mizzzz", can you spell the 'mam' in mammal?"
 
"Yes-s-s-s", snickers the green shirt.
 
"And", asks the office manager, politely, "can you spell the 'owl' in fowl?"
 
"Yes-s-s-s" , chortles the beefy lady in green.
 
"And can you spell the 'freak' in feral ferrets"
 
"Hey ... ", growls the green shirt, "there ain't no 'freak' in ferral
ferrets!"
 
"That's what we've been trying to tell you for a week, num-num,
 
There are no * freakin' * feral ferrets!"
 
Take care
 
Doug, Sue, Penny - Lori, Tory, & Shadow
[log in to unmask]
[Posted in FML issue 1511]

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