Lance, Lance, Lance,
 
Buddy ya don't go to the Oracle about lil girlie ferrets.  Ya come to me,
Petey the Hubba Hubba.  I learned everything I know from my brudder
Doodlebug.  And you know those Hollywood types are smooth.
 
Buddy this is what ya do.  You give her a chewweasel, smile, and wiggle
your whiskers.  Just when ya get her riiiiiiiight where ya want her, YA
LEAP!  Jump on her back, grab her neck, and let out a mighty poof.  Then
drag her to your favorite hidey hold and show her all your favorite
treasures.  I am tellin ya Lance,it works everytime.
 
Also I toss my old lil black book to you buddy.  Use it well.I don't need
it anymore, I found my true love.  My sweet Bonnie da Sguidgett.  She is
the best ferret girlie in the world.  I have her picture on the wall by
my cage.  And I sleep in a bootiful hammie she sent me.  She is
wonnerful.
 
Dooks,
Petey
[Posted in FML issue 3958]