Hi all,
 
I haven't posted here in awhile but this one I couldn't resist.
A friend sent this to me and it gave me a good laugh.  I am
forwarding it on with permission.  I feel it is especially relevant
given all the hype about ferrets biting people and being dangerous.
 
--> SOMEONE MUST STOP THESE "AFRICANIZED" FERRETS!!!!! <--
 
- Tyler
 
> >    Dangerous Ferrets FAQ  1.5 -revised version (with references to a
> certain humorless person removed)
>
>
>
> >   1. what are dangerous ferrets?
> >
> >   Webster's Hebephrenic Dictionary describes a dangerous ferret as "1.
> >a ferret that causes injury or damage. 2. An early blues singer
> >(1907-34)"
>
> >   2. Where do dangerous ferrets come from?
>
> >   From the belly of a mommy dangerous ferret. However, the current wave
> >of dangerous ferrets now fanning out across North America is the result
> >of an experiment conducted in Bellevue, Washington (a small farming
> >community) in which africanized ferrets were imported for research.
> >Unfortunately, a queen africanized ferret escaped from the
> >ferret hive and bred with the docile indigenous grey ferret. The
> >dangerous ferret genes have spread throughout the Northwest and will reach
> >the San Francisco Bay area by early next year - posssibly earlier, if
> >the wind is right.
>
> >  3. How can I tell if a ferret is dangerous?
>
> >   It was formerly thought that retrusion of the fourth incisors was a
> >certain sign that a ferret is dangerous, but the recent discovery that
> >ferrets do not have fourth incisors makes this method of verification
> >unreliable. A good rule of thumb: if a ferret kills you, it is
> >probably dangerous.
>
> >   4. How can I protect myself against dangerous ferrets?
>
> >   At this time, there is no KNOWN way to guard against dangerous
> >ferrets. For a time, "Ferret Watch" groups were organized, but this
> >activity has largely ceased since it now appears that ferrets single out
> >members of these groups and kill them. The best advice anyone can give in
> >dealing with the ferret crisis is simply to panic.
>
> >   5. What Clannad album should I buy?
>
> >   It is helpful to buy Clannad albums in bulk, as a discount can often be
> >obtained from the merchant. The average prices for Clannad albums are:
> >"Fuaim" - $1.09 per pound; "Anam" - $1.37 per pound "Sirius" - 37 cents per
> >metric ton. Remember: Clannad albums are sold by weight, not volume.
> > There is a new Clannad album out, so check your grocer's freezer.
>
>
> >   6. Is it true that some people are actually aiding the ferrets?
>
> >   Sadly, yes. Some people have been identified by the FBI as "ferret
> >sympathizers". Far from doing their part to help stop the ferret
> menace, >they appear to go out of their way to give aid to ferrets!
> Their ringleader >appears to be a character known in espionage circles as
> "The Grouch". This person has frequently been seen feeding and >consorting
> with ferrets and other small rodents. There is a five dollar >reward
> being offered for her capture, but not by me.
>
>
>
> >  yours truly,
> >   dogpest
> >
>
 
[Posted in FML issue 0594]