Dooker First Class Casey reporting from Ft. Wayne outpost:
(Message for FLO eyes only -- Neutral Humans go away)
 
I am pleased to report that Sergeant and I, D.F.C.  Casey, have successfully
infiltrated the residence of one Neutral Human called Matt about 4 weeks
ago.  He adopted us.  Our previous NH had to go away to a place where the
NHs there *REALLY HATE THE FLO (some place called California)*.  Little did
he know that we were actually under orders.....
 
We have been probing the NH's apartment for potential ways to glorify the
FLO cause as is the duty of ferrets everywhere.  Today we have made a
breakthrough!!  Earlier, while he was on the computer (he has no idea that I
can type), Sergeant went into covert operations to gather as many of the
bulking smelling things that the NH wears on his feet and hide them under
the couch.  I infiltrated the bathroom and found a white cylidrical, soft &
cushy thing mounted on the wall next to the NH's procelain chair.  Upon
further examination, I found that if the proper downward pressure was
applied to the cylinder, IT BEGAN TO UNROLL!!!  Words cannot describe how
elated I was to stumble across such a discovery.  There is no way to measure
how far this discovery has advanced the global FLO effort.  I
enthusiastically unrolled the entire thing and decided that it would be
prudent to stash some with the shoes in the secret armory under the couch.
I took one load and was returning to get another when the NH discovered the
operation and, in a fit of explicatives, grabbed me (caught red handed with
a mouthful of cushy stuff) and tossed me unceremoniously into my cage for a
"time-out" as he calls it.  He stole the cushy stuff that I had commandeered
and threw it in the trash.  Sergeant also received a "time-out" sentence for
his role in Shoe Acquisition.
 
Well, the NH may have one this battle, but the war is just underway.  I =
think that I shall poop on the floor now and then check to see if he left
the bathroom door ajar.
 
D.F.C. Casey out.
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END OF DISPATCH -- FLO TOP SECRET
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[Posted in FML issue 1601]