[Posted in tow parts.. combined into one.  BIG]
 
Some of you may remember me writing a few times about my girl, Daphne; she
was diagnosed with an oral squamous cell back in September.  She passed
away Thursday, January, 27th.  I have been a complete wreck and not been
able to talk about it at all, but now in an effort to start getting past
the pain and grief I must share her story.  This ended up being very long
and I had a very hard time cutting it down, so I split it into two parts.
 
When I was a freshman in college a friend of mine had ferrets that she
would sneak into the dorm room for weekend visits.  I completely fell in
love with them.  My roommate and I thought it would be great to have one of
our own.  Well when I went home for Christmas a good friend of mine told me
that she knew a guy who had a ferret that he had to get rid of.  I couldn't
resist and I agreed to take her.  She was about 8 months old and living in
not the best conditions.  She did not have a litter box in her cage and was
feed 9 Lives.  He also used to feed her beer and she was a fierce little
biter (which he was proud of...he named her General) and I don't think got
much time out of her small cage at all.  When I brought her to my parents
house, we closed off the upstairs den and let her loose.  She was such a
little terror and just a blur of fur as she bounced around the room,
nipping at ours and the dog's toes as she whizzed by.  And though you
couldn't hold her for more than 10 seconds (major squirmier) she
immediately stole our hearts.
 
I brought her back to college with me and after a very short time of lots
of love, discipline, and handling she quit nipping and took to a litter box
right away.  She was a joy and loved people.  Not knowing much of anything
about ferrets, I was completely amazed with how much energy she had and
even after a year, I did not think she would ever calm down.  And though
she was too impatient to be much of a snugger she loved to play and be the
center of attention.  So needless to say she was completely spoiled rotten
by me and everyone else in the dorm and ended up being an only child until
my senior year.  The summer before my senior year I moved in with my friend
that had 3 other ferrets, and we adopted another because we thought if
Daphne liked him I could keep him when we moved out.  Well, after more than
3 years of being an only ferret of course she hated the others.  And we
tried everything and were very hopeful and patient, because nothing we read
said there might be a chance that she would never adjust.  After 6 months
she got to the point where she would just ignore them (huge improvement!)
so we decided to put her in the cage with the others and maybe she would
learn to like them.  Well it only took a few weeks until she started
tossing all the food and litter out of their proper places.  So we put her
back in her own cage, and after more than a year being together she still
never fully adjusted.  So when I moved out and got my own place again, she
was extremely happy to be the only child again.  She was my baby and the
most important thing to me so there was nothing I would not do to please
her.
 
This past summer I found that she had chipped one of her canine teeth so I
took her to the vet and they said it needed to be removed.  I was a wreck
because before this she had never even had a cold and now she had to
undergo surgery.  All went well and though I always knew she was smart and
had me wrapped, an couple incidences following the surgery just blew me
away.  Well I of course felt terrible about the whole thing and though the
doctor said she would probably be fine to eat her normal food I moistened
her food to feed it to her, just in case.  After 2 or 3 days of moistening
her food, I tried only offering her the kibble, but she would refuse to eat
it, so I just figured her mouth was still hurting.  Another day went by and
still she would refuse her kibble; and after what the doctor had told me I
thought for sure by now she would be ok.  So I put one of her favorite
crunchy treats on the floor then went into the other room and just peaked
out form behind the door to watch her.  It did not take long for her to
discover the treat, then she looked around, snatched the treat and ran
behind the couch!  Needless to say she did not get anymore moistened food
from me after that display.  The other thing that shocked me, is a day or
two after the surgery, she started chewing the buttons on the couch (her
favorite past time) and she I told her "NO" she turned to look at me then
opened her mouth, as if she was saying "But look at what you did to me!"
She had never done that when I have scolded her before and from that point
on, I have never doubted her intelligence and ability to con me into
getting what she wanted.
 
Her story is continued in another message, sorry I could not fit it all
together.
 
Jenna Butts
and Daphne Butts - eternal spirit
 
(continued... )
A week or two after the surgery when I was cleaning her teeth, I noticed a
red patch in the roof of her mouth.  So I took her to the vet and she was
started on antibiotics.  After a week the spot got worse, so she went back
to the vet and had a biopsy taken of the spot.  I was told it might be
cancer and when the biopsy came back I was told that she had a squamous
cell carcinoma and that it is a very aggressive cancer and there was
nothing that could be done, but she referred me to a local animal
internist.  He told me that if there was anything to be done the doctors at
the University of Florida could do it.  So, I met with doctors up there,
and they gave me hope.  The only hope for a cure with this type of cancer
is surgery to remove it.  So, Dr. Bennett removed more than half of her
hard pallet.  Since this left a hole to her nasal cavity they had to pull
skin across to cover it.  This was not as easy as we would have liked; she
went through 5 surgeries because the hole kept opening up.  I know that
sounds like a lot to put her through, but I was amazed with how well she
did.  Since she seemed to want to fight and beat this, how could I not do
everything in my power to help her?  After a few surgeries, she still had a
bit of a hole, but I was told it was no different than those born with a
cleft pallet and that she might sneeze more than normal, but should be ok.
And they wanted to start chemotherapy and not wait any longer.  I was very
nervous about this, but the day after her first chemo treatment she was
walking about and she never got sick.  However, a week or so before the 3rd
treatment I had noticed some swelling under her eye.  When I brought her in
for her third chemo treatment, I told the doctor about it and about my
fears of it being the cancer.  I was told going in through her mouth for a
biopsy was too risky because of the hole.  So she did scrap at some of the
tissue in her mouth (which was looking inflamed).  The results came back
only as inflammatory tissue and not cancerous.  I was a bit relieved, yet
knew that it was probably not accurate.  I then went to visit my family
over Christmas and a few days after Christmas Daphne started bleeding from
her nose.  By the time I got to a local vet the bleeding had stopped, yet
it scared me enough that I cut my trip short and brought her back to the
university.  Since her hole had again gotten large, they opened her up to
do some repair work and at the same time took tissue samples for a biopsy.
 
I found out the first week in January that she had a reoccurrence of the
cancer, yet they gave me hope again because they just got new radiation
equipment and hoped that they might kill the tumor with radiation.  So of
course I did a ton more research and had a ton of questions, and I had to
at least get an MRI done so we could see where the tumor was and how far it
had spread.  I knew radiation might be risky, but she would die if I did
nothing, and she had been such a fighter through everything I could not
give up on her.  So I was determined and hopeful.  Unfortunately when we
did the MRI they saw the tumor was to large and they could not do
radiation.  I was completely devastated to have to come to the realization
that there was no hope and no more options and I just had to sit there and
watch her deteriorate when I know that she wanted so much to live.  The
only other thing I tried to hope for is that she would pass painlessly and
peacefully in her sleep; I thought she at least deserved that; but I knew
with this cancer that that hope too was impossible.
 
The last couple weeks of her life I spoiled her completely rotten (like
that was so unusual), letting her pig out on popcorn, peanutbutter and
whatever else she wanted to try.  The only time I would spend away from her
was to go to work.  It killed me to look at her and wonder if this was the
last day I would have, but it really made me appreciate every minute I had
with her.  Everyday her mouth grew worse (looked ulcerated) and though she
would eat, it would take 20 minutes to feed her as compared with the 5 from
weeks earlier.  I started to wonder if I was just being selfish, but when
she was up, she was still very active; running around, stealing toys,
playing.  The last couple of day I could tell it was really taking a toll
on her though, because she was sleeping more and more and having more
trouble breathing.  On Wednesday, the 26th, I knew in my heart that it
would be her last night, and on Thursday she would not even stay up for
more than 10 minutes and though she was walking around fine and normal she
was not interested in playing much with me.  So when I got home that night
I just cuddled with her in the bed for an hour or so then called a good
friend of mine to come over.  She loves company and is usually get very
excited, but when he came over she did get up and walk about and sniff him,
but did not want to play and within 15 minutes was curling up for a nap
again.  I knew it was time and that she must not be very comfortable.  She
was not in obvious pain, and though I wanted to hold on to her forever,
with everything she had already been through I did not want to wait until
she was suffering.  She brought so much love, joy, and happiness into my
life that I could not let her be in anymore pain.  Letting her go was the
hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I do not have children nor do I want
any; and I know many would not understand this, but she was like my child,
and though I always knew I would outlive her, I hoped she would just grow
old and die peacefully...but I guess that is everyone's wish.
 
The only thing that comforts me now is the fact that her death might not be
in vain.  During the week before she passed, I read the email from Barbara
Ludt who had a ferret, Ben, that bit into an electrical wire and had a huge
hole in his pallet.  Then right after Daphne passed, I read another email
from Barbara that was a message forwarded from a vet student visiting UoF
from another school.  She too had written, Barbara, and said that Dr.
Bennett had tons of experience with reconstructive surgery and gave Daphne
as an example.  This touched me so deeply, because she knew her name and
referred to her as "Daphne Butts", and not just a ferret with oral cancer
(or something similarly generic) and also in the fact that the experience
they gained from working with Daphne might help Ben and others.  Daphne
brought joy to so many during her life, and now I know that though she is
gone I will not be the only one to remember her fondly.  I feel that she
accomplished more in her short life than I have in mine; I always wanted
to make a difference, but I think she already has.
 
I am sorry this turned out to be so long, but I wanted to share more than
just the sadness of her death; I need to remember the joy of her life.  And
though I know they probably do not read this list, I have to add a little
thank you to all her doctors: Dr. Smith at the Animal Emergency Clinic in
Melbourne (not very knowledgeable about ferrets, but a great vet and very
compassionate), Dr. Bennett, Dr. Pye, Dr. Cook, and Dr. Lock at the
University of Florida Small Animal Clinic in Gainesville, and Dr. Kemmerer
at West End Animal Hospital in Gainesville.  If anyone has sick ferrets in
Florida these guys are the best!  And a huge thanks to everyone on this
list who sent me messages of encouragement, prayers, and condolences
throughout this whole ordeal.  I have felt so alone and it is nice to know
that there are people out there that understand.
 
Jenna Butts
and Daphne Butts - eternal spirit
[Posted in FML issue 2954]