You know you are a ferret owner when you have a ferret pee on you, but
you know you are a ferreter when you don't change your shirt.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you pick up a ferret's wet poop,
but you know you are a ferreter when you wait until it is dry and do it
without tissue.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you fed your ferret meat, but you
know you are a ferreter when you give it to them alive.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you dress your ferret in doll
clothes, but you know you are a ferreter when you dress yourself to
match.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you warn children to not poke their
fingers in the ferret cage, but you know you are a ferreter when you bite
the children's fingers to make them stop.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you buy one ferret care book, but
you know you are a ferreter when you buy all ferret veterinary books.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you stumble on the FML, but you know
you are a ferreter when you know what the "I" in B-I-G stands for.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you worry about poop in the corners,
but you know you are a ferreter when you stop caring about your corners.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you worry about giving your ferret
good food, but you know you are a ferreter when you shout at a poor
little stressed zoo keeper who accidentally blurted "carrots" when asked
about their ferret's diet.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you notice your ferret changes color
seasonally, but you know you are a ferreter when you start placing cash
bets on which one will be darker.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you place the cage by your bed so
they can sleep near you, but you know you are a ferreter when you open
the cage and roll back the covers.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you give your ferret chicken baby
food and worry about the drips, but you know you are a ferreter when you
grind up a chicken to make Bob's Chicken Gravy and don't worry about the
splashes.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you kiss your little ferret's cute
little navel, but you know you are a ferreter when you know thats a bad
boy not to be kissed.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you go to the pet store to see a
ferret, but you know you are a ferreter when you go to a movie to see
a ferret.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you search eBay for essential ferret
supplies, but you know you are a ferreter when you get in bidding wars
over ANYTHING with even a remote chance of having a ferret likeness
stamped on it.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you buy raisins for your ferret, but
you know you are a ferreter when you stop.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you attend a ferret club meeting,
but you know you are a ferreter when you volunteer at the local shelter.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you read stuff from ferret experts
and consider them wonderful, but you know you are a ferreter when you see
those experts drinking all night at the symposium and you still consider
them wonderful.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you giggle when your ferret farts
on you, but you know you are a ferreter when you giggle when you fart on
your ferret.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you recognize how a ferret smells,
but you know you are a ferreter when you recognize it and ask the person
to marry you.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you own Jeanne Carley's ferret
calendar, but you know you are a ferreter when you have ALL of them,
plus any other ferret calendar you happen to see.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you giggle when you find your ferret
sleeping in your clean underwear drawer, but you know you are a ferreter
when you giggle when you find your ferret sleeping in the dirty underwear
on the floor.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you fed your ferret a variety of
foods, but you know you are a ferreter when you've sampled them all.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when your heart breaks so much when your
ferret dies that you don't want another one, but you know you are a
ferreter when your heart breaks so much when your ferret dies that you
get two more.
 
You know you are a ferret owner when you tell amusing ferret anecdotes,
but you know you are a ferreter when you tell amusing ferret owner
anecdotes.
 
Bob C  [log in to unmask]
 
"As soon as I get home I'm going to put up my feet and forget all about
 my ferrets for at least a week."
Overheard on the St. Louis Ferret Symposium zoo bus, 2005, name withheld
to protect the tired, and yes, you saw me jotting it down.
[Posted in FML issue 4883]