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Mon, 21 Nov 2011 13:58:47 -0500
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Gee, I wish I could help. But you can't force or change someone else's
feelings. All I can do is offer two choices along with some things to
think about for when you mull them over in your mind.

I've had ferrets I didn't really bond to, I'll admit it now in front of
everyone. I know it makes you feel a bit guilty because you feel
disappointed when it seems as if you shouldn't. What really makes it
heartbreaking is when this occurs with a rescue because many times the
rescues are apt to express their love and gratitude at much higher
levels than other ferrets. I remember a rescue that went through hell.
People went through great extents to get him to me. When I got him, he
ignored everyone in the household, went right to me, and he stuck to me
like glue til his dying day. I never had and have yet to have a ferret
bond to me as much as he did. He was the ultimate companion/pet. But, I
didn't feel the same way towards him. So there I was with this furry
angel who worshipped the ground I walked on and I was tortured with the
fact that I didn't feel the same in return. But I kept him!

Ferret people are very special and generous. However, their standards
of ferret ownership and love are set so high, not everyone can always
live up to them. I've asked a few ferret people about ts bonding issue
and most of the time I noticed that they really couldn't relate. I felt
"less" of a ferret owner. Anyway, know that I "get it". It all made me
a bit sad, but in the end I didn't let it bother me too much because it
was obvious how happy he was with me and in his case, that is what was
most important. He loved his new home and he LOVED his cagemate(s). So
that's batting two out of three. That's pretty awesome. Nothing in
life is perfect. When it's a rescue, I just dig down deep and use that
emptiness from not feeling a strong bond by filling it with the pride
that I took in a needy ferret and am giving them the gift of never
being rejected again. It goes a long way, ya know? I do love them,
please know that. Its just not alwas the fairy tale romance. I know
this might come out "wrong". But another thing to remember is that they
live such short lives. Its not like they are "taking the spot" of a
future bonded pet. Actualy, this fact is a gift. It means you will be
able to meet and love many little souls in you life time! This is
something pet owners of other species may never have (horse and bird
owners for instance).

So, anyway. Give it some time. But most of all? Work on it like a
marriage. Instead of being passive and treating them like your other
ferrets, approach them and your situations completely different. Take
your baby outside for a regular walk (in a bag, stroller, or leash). Or
on a car trip to Petsmart each week to show them off and shop. Or take
them into the bathroom with you when you shower each day. Or sit on
the floor for each lunch and have them out. Take some fun pictures and
movies. Make yourself pick him up for a few seconds each time he passes
by. Just pick things that fit your lifestyle and schedule. Stick to it
and run with it! See if it gets better, or if you can accept it for
what it is. Not every love affairs is like Romeo and Juliet. And as
Renee Downs would say, "And that's okay!"

Now, the other way to look at it is like this. You got him out of a
bad situation. That is the most important thing. He is now stable.
But perhaps not totally bonded to his new life. And so this would be
the perfect opportunity to take your time and find him a good home.

This is where I apologize for not knowing which road you should take.
We will support you here no matter what you decide, okay? Okay.

Da Wolfy

[Posted in FML 7251]


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