This message is to address both Melanie and Renee. Renee, what you
wrote made me want to cry. Your words of kindness and encouragement
were so well spoken, that I did tear up. It is so nice to see someone
give words of love and kindness to help ease the suffering of others. I
guess what I want to say to you is: Wow. It was GREAT! It brought back
memories of what just happened to my Zeus about a month back. He too
was a "emergency" visit to the vet. Was fine and playing one day, and
the next - he just collapsed. By the time we got to the vet - he was
having problems breathing. We put him in an oxygen tent/incubator -
and that lasted for all of 4 minutes before I called my vet back in
and said: Get him OUT of there, he is struggling to breathe! We too had
to make the hard decision of euthanasia. And it ripped my heart out.

I still have a hard time with it because it happened "suddenly". I
cried so hard and so long - my husband was wondering if I needed mental
health help....*smiles*. Now the reason he thought that was because
when we lost Ricky, and Artemus - I didn't cry like that. I think the
reason for that, was that I KNEW they were sick, and I KNEW AHEAD of
time, that they were not going to live much longer. With Zeus - there
was NO warning. My vet only charged me for the OV - $45.00. He also
at my request, did a necropsy - absolutely free, so that I could have
closure and know why Zeus died. He died from an adrenal tumor - that we
had no idea he had. The tumor had invaded is aorta, ruptured it, and
expanded to rupture one of his lungs. I was stunned. I asked my vet -
if he was sure. Zeus had NO adrenal symptoms. He didn't lose fur, as a
matter of fact - he had the best coat of all my kids! He didn't exhibit
any symptoms whatsoever. I'd never heard of such a thing.

So - the crying, the grief, the "what the hell" moments were hard. Very
hard. Melanie - you will get thru this. I still hurt and cry every once
in a while for my Zeus. But now there are days....that I think of
him......and I smile when I think of an antic he pulled. And it is
good. Your heart will heal little one. Just try to remember that your
little guy is in a much better place, havin the time of his life. Flyin
around with his glamorous wings at The Rainbow Bridge. And he's gonna
be right there for you - when it is your time to go. Try to remember
you did the best you could. He knows that honey. And he is probably
sending his thanks to you - for relieving him of his pain.

Take some time for yourself. Go outside and sit in a chair - in the sun
and just let the memories of him flow thru you. And then - let the hurt
go. Lots of love to you and many thanks again to Rene - your words of
love are incredible - and so are YOU!? Hugs to all!!!

Kim and Her Army of Idiots, missing Helena, Ricky, Artemus and
Zeus........

[Posted in FML 6339]