I hate to post stuff when I'm in the middle of a series, but I have so many
questions backed up and I felt I had to answer a few.
 
Q: "Why don't you write for [the other magazines] besides Modern Ferret?"
A: Self-respect.
 
Look, I have no problem with other people writing for whomever they wish, I
just feel that in the world of publishing, Modern Ferret is sort of a David
against the other giants.  Plus, when no one else would publish a ferret
periodical, Eric and Mary put their livelihoods and personal fortune on the
line.  So I figure I owe them, because they provided a voice when none other
existed.  Sure, if you write for the competition you can get a few hundred
bucks, which simply doesn't exist in the Modern Ferret budget.  So what?
 
When no other ferret magazine existed, who started one?  Who took the risks,
who convinced the banks and the publishing house?  And who goes without if
the income doesn't match the outflow?  It sure ain't the bozo's at Ferret.
Only after Eric and Mary proved it could be done, after several years of
difficult and hard work, did that publishing house decide a ferret
publication would be a good thing.  And to insure they get the top ferret
writers, they pay fairly good money.  But they have, compared to Mary and
Eric, almost unlimited resources, shared editorial and publishing costs
with other magazines, and far more staff.  Yet even with that unfair
advantage, I feel Modern Ferret is twice the magazine as Ferret.
 
In my opinion, if it weren't for the dedication and work that Eric and Mary
put into their magazine, and for the gobs of public recognition that
followed, we would be far worse off, ferret wise.  Their work has touched
and helped all of us, regardless if you wish to admit it or not.  They have
made information available to us all, they have printed and distributed,
free of charge, informational handouts regarding ferret issues, and they
have provided a forum for ferret-related businesses to display and sell
their wares, spurring new ferret-related investments.  So I figure I owe
them, and offer my services at more reasonable rates.  After all, each one
of my ferrets is worth far more than a couple hundred bucks.
 
I debated answering this on the FML because I was afraid some of you might
feel I am brown-nosing Mary or Eric, or that some might feel they put me up
to it.  Neither is true, and knowing the two, they will probably be somewhat
red-faced after reading this.  But they have helped all of us, and money or
not, they deserve some sort of loyalty.  They have mine.  So, except for the
FML or FML-reprints in local club bulletins, the only place you will find my
ferret-related work is in the pages of Modern Ferret.  Period.  They gave us
a public forum (non-computer) when none really existed, and they deserve our
support in return.  Thank you Modern Ferret.
 
Q: "Apart from bones and ferrets, what do you really like?"
 
A: Torturing the CaCa Fishing Gestapo.  If they were a fly, I'd pull their
wings off before dropping them into a Venus fly-trap.  Maybe I'd just
superglue their private parts to the backend of an 18 wheeler piloted by a
speed freak mainlining Jolt cola.  Maybe just teach them how to read.  Naw,
the last one is just to cruel to contemplate...
 
Q: "...what are the most important things we should know about Bhor?"
 
A: Read his stuff laying down to prevent falling injuries.
 
1. How Bhor obtained Fertnir (or Bacula my roots)
2. How Bhor fought off the Horde of Twenty to rescue the raisins.
3. How Bhor cornered the market in brown cylindrical objects.
4. How to predict the future by the ferret scratches in Bhor's forearms.
5. Why Bhor never uses a bacula as a toothpick.
 
Bob C and the MO Horde of Twenty
[Posted in FML issue 2309]