Becca Simpson's query on oils for ear-cleaning: yes, baby oil is fine, and,
yes, the scent may tick 'em off.  But life is stern and earnest.
 
Cliping toenails: linatone on the belly.  Works for my guys every time.
They're suckers for the stuff.
 
At least two posts in the last couple of months mentioned the stress of
medicating/hydrating a sick ferret.  Forthwith, a zen-of-ferreting
technique.
 
   PRECEPT 1: Do not equate kindness with comfort.  Medicating is a
   kindness.  It is not comfortable.  Center yourself and your purposes:
   breathe deeply while repeating, "This ferret.  This medicine.  This
   ferret will be medicated."
 
   PRECEPT 2: Place the patient on a kitchen counter or table.  (The higher
   the better: as for yourself, suspended from heaven and rooted in earth.)
   Orient the ferret West-East, head facing the east (right side: reverse if
   you're left-handed.)
 
   PRECEPT 3: The Grip.  Using the left hand, firmly and gently grip the
   ferret's head by making a collar out of the little finger and thumb.  The
   ferret's breathing should (obviously) not be impaired, but he should not
   be able to slide out of the grip.  The ring-finger and index-finger
   should gently lift the upper lips and pry open the jaws.  The middle
   finger should assist wherever necessary, usually in depressing the
   tongue.  Tilt the head back.
 
   PRECEPT 4: Medicate.  Using a dropper, insert medicine.  The ferret will
   swallow.  If the medicine is unpleasant you may need to momentarily
   tighten the collar (see Precept 3) to keep the patient from backing out
   of your grip.
 
   PRECEPT 5: Recovery.  The ferret will now defecate in a corner to
   demonstrate displeasure.  It is otherwise unharmed.  Call a therapist for
   yourself.
 
        Peace,
        Otter
[Posted in FML issue 1639]