This lurker's legal! The MI governer signed the bill yesterday, and ferrets
are now legal in Michigan. I was so excited when I found out, I called my
apartment and left a message for my critters, hoping they would be awake to
hear it. Well, they were, and that was a BIG mistake! Let me explain...
 
In the past I was always perplexed when I read in the FML about the problems
people had with their ferrets - missing the litterbox, stealing things, being
destructive. I just didn't get it, because in the two years that I've owned my
four babies they have always been perfect angels - never any trouble at all. I
would come home from work and they would rub up against me, and after I took
off my shoes they would gently carry them to the closet for me. After dinner
they would curl up in my lap as I read the paper. Every couple of weeks or so
they would drag in the nail clippers to remind me that it was time for a trim,
and once a month they would lead me into the bathroom so they could get their
bath. I decided that you all must have "problem" ferrets.
 
Well, I got home from work yesterday (after the ferrets got the message) and
my apartment was trashed. I mean, the place was a total mess. The critters had
got out of their cage and absolutely destroyed the place. The couch was ripped
to shreds, there was poop all over the floor, the refrigerator was open and a
half-empty can of beer was on the floor, and I smelled cigarette smoke in the
bathroom (and although i didn't actually catch any of them smoking, Sydney did
have nicotine stains on her claws). Milo was going deep-sea diving in the
fishtank, and three mollies were missing. Winkie and Beaner had made a pile of
my best shoes and were just about to set them afire when I walked in. They had
run amok! I finally cornered them up on the bookcase, where they begain taking
turns pushing crystal figurines off the highest shelf. As I threatened them
(for the first time ever) the glared at me with a look in their eyes and said
"or else what, you'll turn us in? HA HA HA!" and continued their free-for-all.
Since then they've been pure demons - they have the upper hand now and they
know it. My angels have turned into minions of the devil...
 
The moral of the story is that those of you in MI who haven't told your babies
that they're legal may want to think twice about it - after all, THEY don't
really need to know, do they?
 
Best wishes to all for a Happy and Safe Holiday!
 
Matthew Hepp
Northville, MI!
[Posted in FML issue 1052]