Frau Lipinski came home from her regular Friday morning shopping and
had good news for me. This day after Thanksgiving, as one might expect,
turkeys are on reduced sale, to wit: any sized whole turkey only $5.00.
Is this turkey trickery or what?

So I jumped into my 1971 VW Squareback and tooled down to the
supermarket. There before me were .some 8 or so turkey packages of
various sizes, weights and prices. However, a temporary sign stated
that any turkey costs only $5.00, and for a limited time only.

Jennie-O Turkey. Net Wt 19.44 lb. Unit Price $0.79/lb. Total Price
$15.36. Special Reduced Cost $5.00. So what's that a pound at the
$5.00 price? That comes to about 26 cents a pound. You can't buy any
ferret food at that price of 26 cents a pound that is as good as this.

The porkchop surgeon agreed to cut up the whole turkey on the huge
bandsaw into fist-sized pieces and to repackage the turkey chunks into
clear-topped meat packages at no extra cost if I'd come back in about
3 hours, to which I agreed, and did.

The sweet young thing at the checkout stand, being curios about the
repackaged turkey chunks, wanted to know what I had in mind to have
a big beautiful bird cut up into so many small pieces and then
repackaged. I told her my intent. She surprised me in replying that
her ferret (I didn't know she owned one) would not eat turkey, cooked
or otherwise.

I quickly related to her that my 12 ferrets at the shelter will eat
anything and everything I give them and with gusto and tears.

An Aside...Tears have always puzzled me because, as far as I can tell,
the ferret lapping up his LUMPS squints his eyes almost closed. A tear
forms in the lower corner of each eye as the ferret's chin drops lower
and lower into the feeding can (a 6-oz can that formerly contained
catfood) until his lower jaw becomes immersed in the thick liquid
eventho his tongue keeps on working, just like the Energizer Bunny.

After nursing my tired old 71 VW Squareback back up hill to the house,
I added to the cookpot a turkey neck and three T-chunks of turkey wing
muscle (breast white meat) along with the meat and veggies that had
been cooking already for about an hour. By the time I finish writing
this posting all the ingredients except the neck vertebrae will be
soft enough for the next step, the high speed, mechanical
micro-miniaturization. After that, the ferrets then get their share
of the still warm LUMPS poured through the cage wires into their cans
from a plant watering pitcher with a long nozzle or spout.

The long, curved and mostly cooked turkey neck will be dropped on the
floor of the ferretarium for the four floor runners ( temporarily
uncaged ferrets) to run off with and probably fight over. Perhaps in
a day or two I'll find what's left of the turkey neck - well cleaned
vertebrae.

On my posting of 11.26. I spoke to the possibility of the shelter
owners preparing for this availability of economical and healthy
ferret food: whole fresh/frozen turkey Preparation in your own
kitchen is simple, straightforward and rewarding to all. The day
after Thanksgiving, 11.28. , I acted on my own advice and so far have
benefited from it. Could you do any less for your kleiner vier-fussende
palzartig frettchen*? Go ahead and try. They'll love you for it and
you'll have more $ in your pocketbook..

Elbbog, elbbog.**

Edward Lipinski, Concoter of LUMPS at FERRETS NW Foundation, Seattle
Washington.
*(G)little 4-legged fuzzy ferrets
**Backwards turkey talk, 2X

[Posted in FML 6170]