Hey Y'all,
 
This here is Margaret Marie Merchant, a.k.a. Margie (or the Southern
broad formerly known as Maggie).  Haven't been posting regularly the
last few years and frankly I am tired of being nagged about; right
Catherine?
 
I live in Salt Lake City along with the above mentioned roommate.
Our business is made up of Miss Sugar Magnolia (a.k.a. Sugs, Suggies,
and "Did you really have to poof"?), Littleman (a.k.a. Adrian, Bald
Butt), Misha (a.k.a. Buddha Belly, Mamma's Boy), and Damian (a.k.a.
Demon spawn, "Dammit quit biting my legs!", and
"OH-MY-GOD-NO-YOU-CAN'T-HAVE-MY-FOSTERS!").  You see Damian has quite
the taste for the oil can of Foster's Beer that Cath drinks.  He actually
climbs Cath's arm to get at the stuff, and only Foster's.  I have no clue
why anyone let alone a ferret would drink that stuff anyways, but Damian
must have some Aussie leanings just like Cath.  And no we don't alcoholic
ferrets on our hands; it is just the smell that entices him.  And the
fact that he gets to scratch Catherine all up as revenge. ;-)
 
Now the ferrets stay downstairs with me and the Chocolate Point Siamese
fer-cat named Connor (a.k.a. Zorak).  He acquired this name against my
wishes from his "Auntie" and she takes great glee in getting him to come
to her using Zorak.  Sigh.  For those that don't know, Zorak is a giant
space preying mantis on Space Ghost.  Connor was raised with the ferrets
and currently lives out his life as a giant ferret chew toy.
 
Catherine Garcia (a.k.a. Chihuahua woman) lives upstairs with the Addams
family (a.k.a. her mother, two daughters and one son).  She has two
small mountains known as Eugene (a.k.a. Hygiene and Puto Bua, apologies
for Spanish spelling and language) and Josephine (a.k.a. Girly Girl and
Wide load) the German shedders, and five cats Hersey (a.k.a. "Did that
come out of you?!!?"), Koko (a.k.a. "Get your ass out of my face!"), Yum
Yum, (a.k.a. Yummie), Romeo (a.k.a. Little Boy) and Juliet (Fat Ass).
 
I irregularly put articles and pictures on my ferret website,
http://www.ferretsunited.net and also get nagged about that.
So expect it be a bit more regular in the future.  {Please insert
your own bathroom humor here}.
 
The household knows all the more common ferret phrases such as "no no
bad ferret!" and "weasel alert!" when a ferret has escaped their normal
habitat.  Misha loves to run as warp speed to the bathroom and hide
behind the toilet.  He did this last night when I was visiting the
facilities myself and I let him stay in with me.  So what does he do to
repay me?  He waits until the very moment I flushed to use his own little
toilet; you know the corner by the door.  See "no no bad ferret above."
 
I suppose that is enough babbling for now.  You know us Southerners,
we love to talk.  Be assured there will be more from both of us sooner
than you wish (even if Cath is a closed mouth Yankee).  Lol.
 
Blessings,
 
Margie and the Fantastic Four from behind the Zion Curtain
 
-- Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have
   others.
 
Groucho Marx
[Posted in FML issue 4907]