Dear Ferret Folks-
 
The root of the word 'science' comes from the greek, and means 'to see'.
In my house, science is all too often performed by marauding WEASELS, and
it means 'to tip over'.
 
You know those cups of water, soda, and I guess in some households, milk,
that get left by the bed overnight?  In my house we call those 'science
projects' because if they are left too long, interesting microorganisms
will grow in them.  Yeasts, fungi, mold, and other less pleasant life
forms that may or may not be fragrant will appear all on their own inside
of those cups.  We try to make sure that they don't accumulate, but we
are not perfect.  Some of you out there, and you KNOW who you are, have
similar things on your night stands.  (According to a recent post, some
of you even have weasels INSIDE your night stands!)
 
Enter the ferret.  The common ferret is irresistably drawn to liquids of
almost any form, however, the more forbidden, the deeper the attraction
is.  Even water is irresistable if it is found to exist outside of the
cage, in a form that it is generally not presented in.  A bowl of lukewarm
water left on the kitchen floor is 20.08 times more attractive than fresh,
cold water left inside the cage.  I don't need to understand why, it is
enough to know that this is a fact.  I will leave math to the experts.  I
accept the conclusion.
 
The ferret enters the bedroom.  This is not my favourite place for a
ferret to be, they have their OWN bedroom for heavens sake, and I don't
go around trashing IT on a whim.  I never sleep in their laundry or
bedding, a courtesy that they do not extend to me.
 
The ferret climbs into the bed.  I never climb into their hammock, please
note, yet they do crawl into my bed.  Not content with that violation of
personal space, they swarm all over my night stand and the table across
from my bed, just to see if there is anything to despoil.  All to often
there is, and it comes is a 16 ounce cup.  But it doesn't stay there for
long, oh, heavans, no!
 
It is first cautiously sampled by tongue and snout, then summarily dumped
out onto tabletops, bedding, pillows, nightclothes, the carpet, library
books, whatever.  So long as there is damage.
 
The little scientists do not appear to take notes, perhaps you don't need
to when you perform the same experiment over and over and over and over
again, as the months pass into years.  I'm imagining their little
conversations about their experiments.  "You see, Switch, you just need
to give the plastic cup balanced on the library book a little shove until
{GP>GT}, (gravitational pull exceeds gravitational tension) and viola!
One hell of a wet mess!  You try it now!"
 
Nasty little poindexters, both of them.
 
Alexandra in Massachusetts, wiping up
 
The Husband: "Maybe if you didn't leave thses things next to the bed.."
Alexandra,
Switch the Kit,
Sabrina the Blind Bat Biter,
   All Three;"SHUT UP!"
[Posted in FML issue 3783]