Well, last week I had some time away ... this week I was prepared for yet
another hard task to deal with.  Today I felt I must bring up the issue
of budgeting with the woman I babysit ferrets for.  It was an extremely
interesting day to say the least.
 
I started off by asking how putting aside some money for her ferrets was
going.  She replied she was not able to.  It has been a month and a half
that I have given of my time to look after her ferrets, and 7 weeks of
giving advice on how to prepare for an emergency.  It was obvious today
that it had all gone in one ear and out the other.
 
But today was the day when one has to face reality.  And that meant looking
at straight facts.  She got very defensive, accusing me of telling her that
she was not able to look after her ferrets.... all I had said was, that I
was getting a double message from her.  On one hand she told me she was a
good budgeter when it came to money, and on the other hand, she was telling
me that she cold afford not even food and that she had to borrow money to
do so.  It was a funny thing for her getting caught in a lie.... she ranted
and raved and then stormed out.
 
I went outside and explained that this was not about her... that this issue
was about her ferrets.  If she was serious about looking after them, then
she had to be prepared to make some sacrifices.  It seemed that the lesson
about having to surrender one of her ferrets, got lost as well.  She
learned nothing.  It came down to this... her remaining three ferrets had
shots that were due in the coming months.  If she was borrowing money for
food, where would the money come for the vet appointment and yearly shot...
for three?  The decision was hers to make... work with me so that the
ferrets could be provided for in the future, or do it without my help and
possibly surrender more.  I left her to have some time to herself.  She
came in a half hour later.
 
In the meantime, her husband filled me in on some interesting info about
her... that she is use to people giving her charity and that it has become
expected.  She uses people, manipulates them to her advantage and then...
leaves them behind in the dust.  They had lost contact with a great deal
of very nice people.  He was afraid they would be losing us too.
 
When she returned she seemed adamant about talking about budgeting.  I
asked her to give me an idea of what her expenses were so that we could
start to prepare the road for a ferret savings account.  She disregarded
my list when it was done, and then proceeded to show me her list.  My list
came to a base figure of $49 a month she had left over... her list came to
$238.  Quite a difference.  I asked her straight out.... where was this
money that she was able to save?  She had no answer.  But then I listed all
the things that she had not accounted for in her list.  She indicated that
it was all accounted for.  So I asked again... where was the money?  It was
not until then, that she realized that money doesn't stick to a budget but
that only people can.  I suggested that she start keeping a record of how
she spends her money... if only for a month or two, but longer would be
better.  She would then be able to see where it all goes and then get down
to the business of budgeting.  Dealing with a fairy tale of what one thinks
they are saving, and what is actually being saved, are definitely two
different things.
 
Now I know that some of you may feel I had no right to butt in and ask
these very personal questions about how she spends her money.  And for
the most part, I would say you would be right.  But I did so because this
situation warranted it.  For many weeks I have heard her talk about how
well she has looked after her ferrets, and how she can afford to do so, but
I have seen no evidence of it.  I am very much a person who believes in
putting your money where your mouth is.  This woman had caused grief in her
past situations... who will step in to break the cycle?  No one has so far.
I feel that if I want to be able to give these ferrets back to her with a
good conscience, then I will do whatever it takes to make sure that she is
at least trying.  I will see how faithful she is to her word next week.
 
Because, once again, the bottom line is, the ferrets.
 
Betty and Her Blur O'Fur
For the love of ferrets....
[Posted in FML issue 3087]