I have posted several times about Rasta, who is my almost seven-year-old MF
male who has insulinoma.  I have been giving pred since July and it seems
to help but now he is having an even harder time walking and only eats,
sleeps, poops.  He has no interest in playing and just wants to be held.
 
He has not had any seizures or blank staring episodes, for that I am
thankful.  He seems alert and aware of what is going on around him and
still hits the litter box all the time.
 
I have been told he is not in pain (he has not displayed any of the
symptoms such as grinding of teeth, etc.)  It is very difficult for me to
watch him struggle with walking and very difficult for me to see that he is
not playing and his quality of life is lacking.  My husband is basically in
denial.  He does not want to put him down unless he has no ability left at
all.  When I pick Rasta up and hold him, he looks at me and kisses my nose,
as if to tell me that he wants me to help him across.  In my heart I know
that he has no quality of life left.
 
Basically, I hope somebody can tell me when/how they decide that it is
time.  I feel like I am torturing him.
 
This is VERY hard for me to talk about, but I am feeling very guilty.  I
want what is best for him and would hate to think that he may be in pain.
I also am very scared that he will pass away in his sleep and I will not
be present, holding him when he goes.  Rasta is my first ferret and will
always be #1 in my eyes.  I just want what is best for him.  He has helped
me through some pretty bad times.  Every time I see him stagger across the
floor, I start crying, which does not help the situation.
 
Please send me your comments on this, I am so torn.
 
Thanks.
[Posted in FML issue 2850]