Condolences to those with lost, sick, or angeled fishing pole flingers...
 
(Hey look here!  I can hold this up straight with no paws!  Now I can
balance it on my nose!  Look!  I'm a majorette...wait...I'm a guy...
uh...HERE HE COMES!  Somebuddy take this while I run and hide!  *Fling!*
*TumbletumbletumbleBANG!  Whut?  I didn't do nuthin!)
 
"Scenes from a ferret house"
 
Dancer bouncing madly in a fake attempt at look like she's being
chased...then she smacks right into the wall...and just lays there,
looking like she planned that all along.
 
Brave little Jessica, perched on top of a DVD player, parked on top of
another ferret's cage.  She's afraid they will sniff her toes if she gets
off the player to climb back down.  She doesn't realize they are
currently sniffin her tail, which is hanging off the other side of the
DVD player.
 
Little Rhun Girl (my "furbat"), with her little sutured-up tummy (still
recovering from adrenal surgery), hanging about an inch off the floor.
She got her alligator to the open door on the second level of her cage,
then got most of it out the door and tried to get it the rest of the way
by jumping up and grabbing it.  She just dangles there for about two
minutes.  I help her out by untangling the alligator's leg from the cage.
Apparently, even though he is only a stuffed 'gator, he didn't want to
come out and play.
 
Spazzie (4 pounds) grabs Dancer (1.1 pounds) by the scruff and literally
flings her across the livingroom floor.  Dancer gets up, skitters over to
Spazzie, body-slams her (to knock her over), jumps on her and pins her to
the floor (who says fat girls always win?).
 
Add-A-Kiss sleeps peacefully (she's a little old lady and loves to
sleep), which Hershey keeps the mad wrestling girls at bay.  He is
Addie's knight in shining fur!  :)
 
I'm laying on the futon, watching the football game.  Sundance races by
at high speed, flying off the end of the futon.  A minute later, he
repeats this stunt, followed by Butch and Chewy.  Again.  Again.  And yet
again.  Suddenly, on the next pass, I snatch up Butch (Sundance was too
fast) and we go nose-to-nose.  Chewy stops to watch.  We stare at each
other.  Butch sticks out his tongue and licks my nose.  I laugh and let
him go.  He and Chewy race off.  A minute later, it starts all over.
 
Ghost (65 pound male...ok, so he's on 3 1/2 pounds, but *acts* like he
weighs 65 pounds) sneaks up behind Jessica (sneaks???).  She squeals and
jets off...about 5 feet...then waits for Ghost to catch up.  Off she goes
again, for about 5 feet, then she waits...etc.  Its the O.J. Simpson
chase all over again.
 
Smoking and Ferrets
 
I know you all abhor corporal punishment on ferrets, but I'll tell you
all this.  If I *ever* catch even *one* of my ferrets smoking, I'll spank
them soundly, take away their car keys, stop their allowance and ground
them to their cage for...for...hours!  Maybe even a whole day!  Imagine
the fool who would believe a ferret while looking them right in their
ferrety little eyes and believe they were over 18!  No ID, no proof of
age, not even any birth certificates (I've hidden those away!) to use!
And imagine letting a ferret have MATCHES!!!  Why, they'd burn their
sleep sacks up in minutes!
 
Nope, I won't have it.  NONE of my ferrets will *ever* be allowed to
smoke!  Won't happen!
 
Todd and the Fuzzbutt Rodeo Clowns!
 
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[Posted in FML issue 4272]