A few disclaimers right out of the gate:
 
1.  This is NOT my original idea.  (Actually, I'd claim it if I thought I
could get away with it, but I' know I'd get caught by the originator of the
idea eventually)
 
2.  Guys, the first part of this project falls into the realm of a woman's
domain.  Get your wife, girlfriend, SO, extremely good friend and ferret
fancier of the female persuasion to handle it for you.
 
That having been said:
This week my parents hooked up the trailer and took a mini-vacation on the
Jersey shore.  At the campground, my mother noticed their neighbor setting
up a large three storey cage.  A little while later, she noticed what looked
like a sports bra hanging from the top of the cage and wiggling (Guys for
those of you who don't know -- and I didn't, the average sports doesn't have
cups in them).  Curious, my mother went over and looked into the
cage/wiggling bra.  Two ferret heads poked out of the unusual hammock.  The
owner, an older woman (which really means something since "older woman" was
part of my mother's description!), introduced the ferrets and explained the
origin of the unusual hammock.  Bothered by the $12-$20 and up prices for
hammocks, she went to a local K-Mart and bought some of the largest sports
bras that had on sale, took them home and sewed the bottom closed.  She
cheerfully pointed out that the bra has natural "hangers" with the shoulder
straps and she can hang the new ferret hammock from a wooden pole fitted
across the cage between the bars like a bird's perch.  According to my
mother and the older woman, sports bras come in a variety of colors and soft
fabrics.  No, I do not know that for a fact, I am just passing along the
information I was given.
 
Being a single curmudgeon, it is unlikely that I will try this remarkable
and unusual hammock (that's why I told the guys they would need female
assistance -- could you imagine the stories the CA F&G would start if male
ferret owners ran right out and started buying up sports bras?  I can see
their headlines now "Ferrets Cause Men to Crossdress!").  Of course, I do
have a couple of wonderful friends of the right gender who might be cajoled
into making the purchases for me.
 
Hope this posting doesn't get bounced for some esoteric reason.  Good luck
to anyone who decides to try out the newest and most novel ferret sleep sack.
 
Scott,
Lovejoy -- "This could be interesting!"
Miss Marple -- "I thought women were supposed to WEAR this thing!"
Marlow -- "I've died and gone to heaven!"
Ginger -- "Be quiet and don't ask questions.  Remember, dignity, pride and
decorum."
Dix -- "Can we all fit in that thing?"
Sam -- "Eat your heart out Hugh Hefner!"
Campion -- "Who's Hugh Hefner?"
Mrs Tiggywinkle -- "Leave me alone.  Proper hedgehogs do not sleep in those
things!"
 
Remember the words of the greatest American opossum philosopher --
"We have met the enemy, and he is us!"
[Posted in FML issue 1651]