You know your ferret is spoiled when:
 
           You experience an "escalation of lunch meat":
    You start giving her some sliced ham when making a sandwich because you
think she might enjoy it.  After she decided that it was very OK you give it
to her because she demands it.  Then your girlfriend thinks you need
healthier food so she brings you sliced turkey breast.  After tasting this
that 'ham' stuff is no longer acceptable, only turkey will do.  Then in an
effort to get something that tastes better you try some smoked turkey.  At
this time regular turkey now turns to jerkey on her plate and is pushed to
the side with the ham jerkey.  After trying Louis Rich Honey Smoked Turkey
Breast all bets are off.  You now become a thorn in the side of supermarket
clerks everywhere.  It seems they don't carry that particular brand on a
regular basis and seldom keep the shelves stocked up.  But you're still
willing to go to great lengths to get it for her because at least it's
healthier than her licorice habit.
 
    You know your ferret is spoiled when you take her to Taco Bell's drive
through because she thinks hard shell tacos are the coolest thing in the
world and if you're both REALLY lucky "Her" night crew will be on duty and
she will get taken in through the drive through window to visit her friends
and smell all the wonderful things inside.  She also knew exactly where she
was at when daddy started talking through the window of his truck to that
brightly colored thing and it talked back.
 
    You also know your ferret was spoiled and loved when you haven't washed
your bed sheets in two months because they still smell like her and she's
waiting on the rainbow bridge.
 
Missing Tai,
  Geoff
[Posted in FML issue 1361]