Well, I have a sofa that eats remotes!  Yesterday the tv remote disappeared.
We scoured this house.  Assuming that a ferret was guilty, we searched
under dressers, beds, sinks, and appliances.  We dug thru closets, turned
boots upside down.  We even looked in the unlikely places like *inside* the
fridge!  We threatened and cajoled all animals in the house but nobody
would 'fess up and reveal the location.  I knew that the longer the remote
was missing, the less likely the remote would survive.  I *know* that
remotes cannot live for very long off of the coffee table.  They require
constant button stroking.  In a final act of desperation, I removed the
cushions from the sofa and thrust my arm deep into the gaping hole
underneath (how did that get there, anyway??).  I pulled out "intestinal
blockages" such as stuffing, paper, and a few toys that the ferrets were
missing.  Plunging my arm deep inside the guts of the innocent looking sofa
one more time, I felt something.  Ah!  Victory!  I removed the remote from
the bowels of the sofa.  A careful inspection of the remote revealed no
missing buttons!  Now I am afraid to sit on the sofa when I am home alone!
It's obviously a vicious, non-discriminating, hungry creature.  The
stealthiness of the sofa is like that of a fox and it's apparently
unsatiable appetite reminds me of ... of... well, I don't know but I am
sure glad that the ferrets don't climb on the couch lest they be devoured
by the sofa and never seen again!
 
Renee
[Posted in FML issue 2881]