Kentucky Fried Chicken, yes, oh yes. 'Tis finger licken goooood, yes?
Now there's a thought for you folks who see the risk of offering you
soup smeared finger to a fasted ferret, to a very, very hungry ferret.

One poster may have missed my imperative, my careful instruction, to
offer your soupy finger, the finger-licken goooooood finger, to the
ravenous ferret in a very special way.. The way I suggested was to
display the KFC finger close enough to the outside of the cage such
that you stretch out the ferret's tongue, through the wall of the cage,
such that his extended tongue barely touches only the smallest part of
the KFC digit.

You should be alert to quickly retract your finger beyond his reach,
beyond his tongue and especially his K9's, should your proximity
present him with the opportunity to alligatorize your finger and you
feel those prickly ivories sandwiching your precious meat on your
nostril explorer.

So, be alert here, Pilgrim. After all, that's what the world needs -
more lerts, right?

My experience with a tongued-out ferret has been that his follow-on
French kissing of my KFC digit (uh huh. . . sounds somewhat sexy, but
it's not meant to be) is repeated and repeated and repeated. With each
glorious repetition offer him a greater surface until such time (you
lerts will know when that is) that you can, if you so desire, stick
your soupy digit all the way through the cage wall for him to have at
it, full bore, or perhaps better said, fully fingered.

Once you've achieved the KFC unidigit salute, you're home free. You
will have achieved two goals, and with proper obeisance, take your
place a bit to the right of the bell curve peak. Like the kids at Lake
Woebegone, who are all above aveerage, so shall ye be . . . an above
average lert.

The two goals you'll have achieved are, one: transitioned the ferret
to a soup consistency food rather than depending on dried kibble, and
thereby reduced his energy consumption in the process of digestion and
assimilation. Two: you will have cemented a bond between him and your
body stink, your scent and his soup.

NOTE: There are advantages galore to feeding your ferret, say along
with whatever, his food in a soupy form. Getting your ferret to like
warm soup is a superb method of variable nutrition (different
ingredients most every day) and offers tremendous ease in medicating
him when he's in poor health or dying happily with a belly full of
warmth.

So now, youse got a kissy-likker ferret instead of a biter-scratcher
ferret. And you have achieved this progressiveness ( Obamanism ) in a
shorter time than any other way I know and will not have exposed your
meaty nostril picker to subsurface microbial innoculations Oh, how
sweet it is ! A Jackie Gleason exclamation . . .. to be able to nostirl
pick and not with a sore finger.

A bene placito. (Italian: At your pleasure. )
Iksnipil Drawde

[Posted in FML 6216]