Intercepted 27 may 97 @ 1535:
.......zzzzfffftt.....brrpptttt....dook...dook...heheheh....er, um,
Lt. Lynx reporting to Gen. Drifter SIR!
All S.H.E.V.ys (Silly Human Escape Vehicles) overtaken -- Teleport
Modules have been disabled.  Call to Arms broadcast throughout
Missouri -- Responses recorded from Columbia, High Hill, Fulton and
Jefferson City.... KC and Joplin yet to report. SIR
.......bbbbrrrrrrrppppppttttt............dookdookdookdook......huh?...
heeeeeheeeeheeeee..................oops. Sgt. Silk reporting to Lt.
Lynx SIR!
 
Human type doors to all apartments and dwellings booby trapped SIR!
Still waiting on report from the Peterson 9..... will report when
reported to SIR! (did I do that right? Sir?....dookdook)
..........ffffzzzzzztttttt.................
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
HUMAN ALERT!  Marching Mustelids of Missouri sighted in Jefferson
City, Fulton, Columbia, Kingdom City, High Hill and last sighted in
St. Charles, headed for St. Louis.  Flamethrowers and backhoes
sighted among materiel....Be alert for sappers.  Suspect all 4-footed
low-slung mustelids.  Do not, repeat do NOT offer raisins ... many
have been reported to accept bribe and booby trap anyway.  Not to be
trusted.
eeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
.............................................
end transmission
[Posted in FML issue 1949]