You can do most of this for a little $ at Home Depo.  They should be pretty
easy, even for do-it-you-self-wanabees.
 
FERRET DOOR GUARD
NEEDED:
1  piece of Plexiglass, measured to fit your door (2-3 ft tall,
   depending on wheather you have jumpers).
4  long thin pieces of wood- one inch thick, one inch wide, as tall as
   your piece of Plexi
16 marine-quality snaps- the kind that aren't attached to anything.
1  glue gun
   glue gun ammo (get the super-sticky kind)
 
Needless to say, keep you ferts somwhere else when you've got
do-it-yourself supplies out.  Don't want to spend six hours looking for
thos nice silver snaps... or picking glue out of your ferrets' fur.
 
1. Put the Plexi aside.  You aren't going to need it yet.  Measure your
wood (tall), and do some multiplication.  A calculator is handy here, if
you're rusty on your middle school math.  The ratio is four snaps to each
piece of wood (i.e. If you've got a two foot tall piece of wood, there'll
be a snap every six inches).  Put them as evenly-spaced as you can.
 
2. Dig out your four snaps, and, leaving each one snapped (makes it easier
later), and glue the sticking out part (1.e.  [)<-- snap) to the wood.
Repeat for all for snaps on that piece, and then repeat w/the rest of the
wood pieces.
 
3. Glue the other side of the snap to the door- in front of it!!  Don't
place them so they're stuck in the doorjamb.  Directly in front of it
(about 1/2 inch) put another piece of wood.  Do this for the other side,
too.  You should now have two pieces of wood snapped to each side of the
door, making a neat little slot on each side.
 
4. Wait for the glue to dry.
 
5. Slide the Plexiglass piece into the two slots.
 
6.  If you're feeling particularly industrious, you can paint the wood to
match your wood trim.
 
You now have a door guard, so you can keep the ferrets in their room, and
you can keep an eye on them thru the Plexi, giving you a bit more peace of
mind.  If company comes, just remove the Plexi pull your wood pieces out.
Except for the snaps (and you can paint those, too), no one will be the
wiser.
 
SPRING SOFAS
 
Most of y'all have futons instead of the springy couches, but for the
people that have those, proofing them can be a nightmare.  Maybe this'll
help (heck, you've probably already thought of it):
 
NEEDED:
Wire mesh
wire cutters
nails
Duct tape
 
1. Measure the mesh and run it along the bottom and sides of your couch.
If you have those little hang-down things (I'm not sure what they're
called, but they hang off the bottom of you couch and cover the front and
the legs), let them drape over the wire, and you won't even notice.  Added
bonus: No more loosing your shoes, wallets, or jewelry under the couch
anymore.
 
2. Duct tape along the bottom of the wire so none of the ferret babies get
hurt.
 
-Ret and the Labradors
 Mo & Belle
[Posted in FML issue 2776]