Agents Scooter and Paddington here.  Gas masks and other chemical protective
gear have not yet arrived, and said agents are therefore unable to penetrate
critical behind stove area due to dissemination of chemical warfare agent
(habanera pepper) by IH (Idiot Human) forces in that area.  Please send
appropriate protective gear ASAP.
 
IH forces have attended FURO ferret show and brought home additional Ferret
Snuggly and Ferret Sleepsack materials ...  a positive indication that mind
control tactics and psychologial warfare tactics are operating well.
 
Botanical/horticultural efforts are not, however, working as well.  Agents
Paddington and Scooter successfully operated in tandem to uproot several IH
botanical efforts, only to be ruthlessly detected and attacked with water
and cleansing agents.  Said botanical efforts were subsequently repotted by
IH agents, constituting a total defeat for the FLO.
 
All was not a total loss, however, as Agent Paddington was able to retaliate
against the IH forces by disconnecting phone and modem communications
capabilities, and Agent Scooter was able to take possession of key IH
footwear.  Further anti-botanical attempts will be undertaken by Agents P &
S shortly.  Long live the FLO!
[Posted in FML issue 1517]