How terribly, terribly cruel.
 
Her odd blood work (low WBC and platelets, elevated ALT) and enlarged
spleen raised the possibility that we were dealing with lymphoma.
Another trip to the vet yesterday found all of her peripheral nodes
enlarged as well as an absence of any fever.
 
I can't believe this is happening!  I've been so preoccupied with Zoie
and Valentine that this just slipped by.  I wrote off her lethargy to
weight gain and depression from getting less attention from me the last
few months.  There were so many chances to do something about this --
even in April, her peripheral nodes were fine and her blood values were
better (although still a bit low).  My vet missed this, and I wasn't
aggressive enough to push for something more than amoxy drops.
 
Pumpkin is my very favorite.  She's so sweet and gentle and loving.  More
so than any ferret I've ever had -- she was a lap ferret almost from day
one.  She deserved so much more from me, and I feel so ashamed to have so
utterly failed her.  We have so very little time left - probably just a
few days now.
 
I will make her as comfortable as I can, and spend as much time as I can
with her.
 
As for what comes after: how does one attain forgiveness for something
unforgivable?
 
make every day count,
 
John
[Posted in FML issue 5306]