I'm going to answer a few points at a time, and hopefully not write
anything that will be taken as rude or flame-y. It's an issue worth some
exploration and explanation:
 
>Every shelter out in Illinois states that small animals will not be
>adopted out to families with kids under 6.  I think this is the most
>absolutely ridiculous thing I have ever heard.
 
To you, a responsible parent who watches her chidren's interactions with
pets carefully and makes sure the pets are handled gently and lovingly,
this seems like a ridiculous rule.  To the shelters who have taken in
countless ferrets from families who found that their kids and ferrets
didn't mix, who bought it as a pet "for the kids" and then realized that
young children can't take on that level of responsibility, or those who
dropped off ferrets who were injured or ill because of rough treatment at
the hands of youngsters, this is an unfortunate rule but one that keeps
ferrets out of the hands of irresponsible people.
 
I believe you when you say that you are responsible and teach your
children to treat ferrets gently and lovingly.  You describe this
beautifully.  If only everyone were like that!  But consider for a
moment: suppose the shelter had on their adoption application the
following question:
 
Will you insure that the children in your household under the age of 6
will treat the ferret lovingly and gently?
 
OF COURSE people who want the ferret will answer Yes to that question,
even if they're not actually that responsible.  Unfortunately, many people
don't acknowledge their children's potential to harm an animal or behave
badly towards it.  I have a friend who would tell you her son would never
hurt an animal, but I think she's dead wrong, and one day her denail is
going to cost a pet its life.  Her 5-year-old is a violent little tyke,
but in her eyes he's a peaceful, gentle giant and you would never
convince her otherwise.  He didn't mean to kick kitty in the side, he
was "playing".  He didn't mean to throw his hamster so hard, he was just
"playing".  She would most certainly assure a shelter operator that her
son would never harm a fly, and if the shelter believed her, a ferret's
life would be placed in danger.
 
Anticipating the argument that the shelter could have the youngster visit
and observe the child's interaction with the ferret, children are OFTEN
better-behaved in unfamiliar surroundings than at home.  A child who pets
the ferret nicely at the shelter might throw things at it (or worse, throw
it) at home, if they happen to have a parent who is less responsible than
you are.
 
>Just remember that there are some families out there, like mine that
>actually watch their kids and would be and are competent in operating a
>home with both small animals and small kids.
 
` know.  Shelters know this too.  Unfortunately it is not so easy to know
who is responsible and who isn't.  I know plenty of irresponsible parents
who would swear on a bible that they do a super job supervising their kids
when actually they are totally lazy about it.  Few people really recognize
their own level of irresponsibility.  Surely you know that accidents can
happen in a split-second, even when you're right there.  A ferret is much
smaller than a cat or a dog; a child simply falling on them by accident
could harm or kill them, and it wouldn't be anyone's fault necessarily,
but bad judgement on the parent's part for combining a small vulnerable
animal with an off-balance, exhuberant youngster!
 
One VERY important fact: like any other pet, dog or cat, a mistreated
ferret can quickly learn to bite the hand that is tormenting it.  A parent
may not realize their child is poking the ferret until the ferret has
latched onto chubby little fingers in its own defense.  Shelters have
to weigh the realization that some parents have the responsibility (and
intelligence) to understand that the animal was defending itself, and take
the opportunity to explain to the child why you don't hurt an animal...but
there are also plenty of parents who would either dump the ferret right
back on the shelter ("It bit my precious, innocent little boy!") or worse,
have it destroyed.  Most shelters know of at least one ferret who has been
dumped or destroyed in just this scenario.  None of them want to see it
happen if they can avoid it!
 
To sum up: shelters have a hard job to do.  Many of their ferrets have
already come from abusive households, and some have been abused by
children specifically.  Shelters, unfortunately, have been privy to the
uglier side of human nature in many cases.  They have seen the families
who don't want to keep their ferret because they discovered that "kids
and ferrets are too much." They have taken in ferrets that children have
stomped on when the parents weren't looking.  They have taken in ferrets
with critical abdominal blockages because small children fed them things
they weren't supposed to have when the parents were out of the room.  They
have rehabilitated ferrets who were so tormented by children poking things
at them through their cage that they bite any hand they see.  And once
these ferrets are healthy and sane again, shelters are understandably
reluctant to let them back into the hands of the age group that harmed
them.
 
Probably it would have been nice if a shelter had given you more of a
chance; at least allowed you to visit the shelter, meet your children,
and talk with you about the ways you planned to keep the ferrets safe.
They might even have allowed you to adopt one if they'd gotten to know
you.  Not all shelters have this policy, and I'm not saying it's a policy
they ought to have 100% of the time.  I know of households with young kids
and ferrets that are perfectly harmonious, and the children love their
ferrets dearly.  I just wanted to give some reasons whya shelter might
have this policy...and you shouldn't take it personally.
 
As with most things, those who are irresponsible spoil it for those who
do actually have a sense of responsibility!  Shelters (of all kinds, not
just ferret) see so much of the worst of people, and for the safety of
the animals they have to assume the worst rather than the best of people
sometimes.  Sad but true...but I am glad to hear that your kids are
interacting well with the ferret you ended up getting from the pet store.
I hope they grow up to be ferret-lovers too!
 
Sincerely,
Heather in Massachusetts
No kids, just ferrets!
[Posted in FML issue 3714]