Dear Ferret Folks-
 
What did France, the Fricken' Pigmy Hedgehog get for Christmas?  A bath.
And ferrets were involved, oh yes.
 
Bathing a Pigmy Hedgehog (think small mammal the size of a Red Delicious
apple who hates the world) involves first, running a few inches of
mildly soapy water into the tub.  The absolutely *furious* Hhog is then
deposited gently into the tub.  She walks back and forth quietly ranting
under her breath, and this cleans her feet, and softens her toe nails for
trimming.
 
Well, Ping is He thinks this is the most fascinating thing in the entire
*world*.  I have gotten used to the fact that he spends Hhog bathtime
perched on my shoulder so he can get a good view of the proceedings.
Otherwise, he tries the "bounce the bathroom door off of its hinges "
trick, and that gets really irritating.  It's too much of a pain to keep
him and Puma locked up in the ferret room during Hhog bath time, as
France actually lives in their closet, and I would have to go over the
plexiglass barrier many times to clean her floor, change her paper,
etc... so I'm stuck with this furry little vulture perched on my
shoulder.
 
Trimming a wet, angry beyond all reason Hedgehog's toenails is not easy,
but I have gotten good at it, even with an adult male ferret perched on
my left shoulder.  It is best done in water, so she can't curl up into a
defensive ball of spikes.  She'd drown.  Given the clear option of death
by drowning, she will, with great reluctance, allow her nails to be
trimmed.  But it is clearly an offense to her dignity.
 
Feet clean, (no dried poop between the tiny toes) nails trimmed, she is
wrapped in a warm towel to dry off.  It's not that she has *fur* to keep
warm, so being dry is important.  Her face, legs and belly have fur, but
not her dome-shaped back.  And spikes aren't very insulating.  So she
spends ten minutes wrapped up in a towel like a sulking little football.
This is the time I clean her exercise wheel in the tub with a scrubby
brush.  Ping always wants to help.  Ping is not helpful.
 
Ping's idea of being helpful involves walking on France, nestled in her
towel, which is perched on my knees as I do the third-world squat next to
the tub and scrub the wheel with the brush.  France hates this.  I hate
this, but I have a job to do, a nasty job to do, so I just try to get it
*done*, my hair twisted up into a fright wig with a scrunchie.  Hhogs
*poop* in their exercise wheels, and run through the poop...over, and
over, and over.  Fortunately unlike ferret poop, Hhog poop is water
soluble.  But it's still a nasty job.  Especially with a curious ferret
and a furious, wet Hhog on your lap.
 
Poor France was duly rewarded with a little dish of chopped Christmas
turkey.  She probably fantasized that it was one of my fingers.
 
Perhaps tomorrow I will tell you what Ping Got for Christmas.
He hates it.
 
Alexandra in MA
[Posted in FML issue 5104]