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Subject:
From:
Rebecca Stout <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 28 Aug 2002 12:01:19 EDT
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Fun?  Did someone say the word "fun" and invite me to have some?  Oh my,
myyyyyy are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into??  I am
the Oracle after all and I have consant fun.  Let me check my wagon for a
story.  ::rumaging through her wagon, she comes across some depends and
flings them at you:: Here!  You'll need these.  ::she dives back into the
wagon looking for a story::
 
Put your drink down (I don't want to be blamed for coke bubbles out the
nose, or hot coffee on the keyboard), swallow that chocolate (don't want
to be blamed for choking), and grab your depends (no puddles now..  ).
You may want to add wipes for that not so fresh feeling to your list
also.  I'm writing you an account of what happened here on the condition
you don't write me and say..."DUUUUUH" at what I did.  Are you ready?  I
hope so.
 
A fellow fml'er, Beth was over visiting my husband and I while we had our
"business" of ferrets out playing.  The alpha male, Pong, has a fetish
... an absolute psychotic obsession with coke and red coke cans.  He goes
completely hyper/nuts over them.  Well, I forgot and got a coke out for
myself in front of him and he was all over me going nuts trying to get
it.  I felt bad and said to dear hubby, "why don't we just give him a can
to play with ... maybe he'll be satisfied and get over this obsession".
So I got up and got a full can of coke and put it on the floor despite
hubby's objections.  Pong went bezerk and had a good ole time with it.
Quite a bit of time elapsed and once in a while you'd see a flash of a
shiny, red and a ferret pushing the can across the living room floor at
light speed.  More time passed and I was talking to Beth on the couch as
hubby played on the computer.
 
Now before I tell you what happened...let me preface this by filling you
in on something here.  Hubby is a walking gas leak.  If it's not coming
out of one end its coming out the other.  Sorry but it's the cold hard
facts.  Beth is super feminine and so to show off and gross her out hubby
is constantly making sure it comes out from the "bad" end when she is
around.  And he is quite loud and talented folks.
 
So were sitting and talking when we hear this sudden, weird noise.  It
sounded like a sudden release of gas, and then it sounded like .....
Scott.  Yup, sounded like he finally pushed his limit and messed himself.
We all sat there staring at each other in shock.  We both looked at Scott
in disgust and he was sitting there with this shocked look on his face
(so we both thought ... ok... he's guilty as charged).  Then the sound
immediately changed to a horrible guzzling hiss.  Beth burst out laughing
as she realized what the heck it was.  I stiiiiiiiill didn't "get it".
Scott jumped up cursing.  Then.... I finally "got it".  Scott's yelling,
"where is it, where's the coke *@#^$(#*#)?(*&@(@&^)#@*!!!!" lol.  We flew
off the couch and pulled it out from the wall.  Pong had the coke can in
the tube behind the couch and I'm like all grateful.....'til Scott had a
brilliant idea to run him out of the tube.  Pong was not about to leave
his "treasure"... he drug it out spinning and spewing all over the place.
Of course Beth could die laughing it wasn't her home getting Cokified.
It wasn't her hubby cursing at the Coke Gods up above.  It wasn't her
mess!!  LOL.  AND most of all............ It wasn't her that had to pay
the fiddler.  Scott warbed me Pong could probably puncture that can, he
told me it was stupid to give it to him ... he was right.
 
::Wolfy, comes barrelling in and yells::
 
That's MY story you imp!  Mine, mine, mine, I wrote it on the FML three
years ago by God!  Look if you want to see the Coke loving ferret, hear
the music and see him leap for it on command go to:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/pong-coke.html
 
MY webpage, okay Oracle?!  Where'd she go?  Where'd she go?  Gosh don't
you hate when that happens???
 
Wolfy and the Ferret Oracle
 
Please visit:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/
for information on ferret deafness:
http://www.geocities.com/wolfysluv/deaf.html
[Posted in FML issue 3889]

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