[Moderator's note: This extra-long post was sent directly to me asking
if I could please make an exception to the length limits and processs
it.  Coincidently it arrived on a very light FML day.  I often do make
exceptions when space is available or when the material is unusually
urgent, so here it is... BIG]
 
Why I now think euthanasia is better for the animals than rescue.
 
Please make sure you read this thoroughly and don't just skim through it
before you pass judgment on what I have to say.
 
At 5 am this morning, my phone rang.  I hate those 5 am phone calls, it
is always a ferret emergency.  I crawled out of bed into the cold night
and stumbled to the office, by now the answering machine had picked up.
This time it wasn't an emergency, it was a liar, a selfish being, a
person who thinks animals are disposable.  I adopted to this person
barely two months ago, and the message they left was to try to cover up
for their actions.  Maybe they think I'm an idiot, and I don't know any
better, or maybe they are really scared that I do have an attorney, and
that I will take them to court.  They're probably hoping against hope
that someone like me can't afford an attorney, what person who runs a
non profit organization can?  They're probably also hoping that I don't
have any friends who are attorney's either, or even one that works
pro-bono.  But just incase, they're trying to cover their tracks, not
very well, but trying.  They're threatening innocent people, and
pretending ignorance.
 
I don't know why I keep doing this.  These two guys, roommates, seemed so
perfect.  I work with one of them, I'm a waitress in the steakhouse and
he's the valet guy who brings my car when I'm off work.  Parking is hard
in downtown Reno, especially for a casino, so valet is our only option
unless we want to spend hours looking for a parking spot.  But this is
how I met this person, a license plate signifying my interest in ferrets
with a bumper sticker advertising our organization.  All the valet guys
there know my truck as the "ferret mobile".  I don't even need a ticket
anymore, I just ask for the ferret mobile.  This of course made me the
"ferret girl", and now any questions anyone may have about ferrets, they
know to come find the "ferret girl".
 
So this valet guy only works on graveyard, and I rarely see him.  One
night, upon picking up my vehicle, he questioned me, and I was happy to
give him all the info he wanted.  Told him what books to get, explained
they're high maintenance, expensive, etc.  Several weeks later, he asked
me more questions, said he was taking his time, making sure he did all
the research, etc.  On Nov 30th of last year, he and his roommate, spent
several hours in my home, learning about ferrets.
 
I don't spare a thing when I talk to people.  I discourage discourage
discourage.  This is all I can do to make sure that the ferrets go to a
permanent home.  I don't push the adoptions, I don't tell anyone what a
wonderful easy pet they are.  I tell them they're difficult to train,
they're mischievous, they'll ruin your couch, they will get adrenal
disease, they will have accidents, they will cost you a pretty penny.
 
They filled out the application, answered all the questions how I would
want to hear them, and they signed a contract, which I go over with every
adoption.  You will only handle your ferret in a loving matter, blah blah
blah, let it out of the cage a minimum of 4 hours a day, blah blah blah.
Feed them a proper diet, blah blah blah.  Offer veterinary care, blah
blah blah, allow a home visit, blah blah blah, *and if you can't keep
it, bring it to the shelter, you're not to sell it or give it away,*
blah blah blah.  Both of them signed it.
 
Sold them a cage for $50, some cute bedding, took pictures of the new
parents, and let them take home their new pets.
 
I thought Mercury and Neptune had a forever loving home.
 
To tell you a little about these ferrets and how they ended up here.
Back in August, Reno Animal services called me.  Someone dumped 6 ferrets
in a drop box overnight.  They don't have the room for them, they just
did a big rescue and were overwhelmed with rats, or something, so they
asked that I pick the ferrets up immediately as a foster situation.
The foster situation of course turned into a permanent thing, which I
expected, so didn't worry about it.
 
One of the six, Saturn, had to have emergency surgery.  His spleen was
half a pound, lymphoma.  The vet removed the spleen and then later Saturn
suffered an infection that took his life.  The vet was so upset, I know
he did everything and more than he could.  It was a sad day, but we
tried, and then we moved on.
 
Bella, Aphrodite and Snaggle are in a foster home.  They were adopted
once, but things just didn't go over well, so they were brought back.  I
was really sad, especially for Snaggletooth.  The vet said that he once
had his jaw broken, and that's why his teeth are the way they are, but
not to worry, shouldn't have any problems in the future.  I can only
imagine how a ferret had his jaw broken, to be honest, I don't want to
know.  Because I will want to hurt the person who did it to them, and I
don't like violent thoughts in my head.
 
The last two were Neptune and Mercury.
 
Back in July/August of last year I "closed" my doors.  I got a lot of
crap from people.  A lot.  Some mentioned I should have never started
a rescue if I wasn't going to go all the way with it, I responded that
I don't regret the 300 something ferrets were saved here, and I'm glad
they were, and only wish I could help more.  Others said that I was being
selfish for closing my doors, I responded by saying that they need to
work two full time jobs and spend every extra cent on the vet bill while
returning all the phone calls and explaining to everyone information that
is out there easily available to anyone while reminding callers that I'm
not a vet and they really need to take their ferret to one instead of
calling me.  Running a shelter took every last bit of my time, money and
energy.  And I didn't have any left to give.
 
There was those few, who supported me closing, but even they were upset.
At least they understood.
 
Since the "closing" of the shelter, I still continued to take in
emergencies and CA confiscates.  In my heart I couldn't say no to ferrets
who were threatened by euthanasia and those that needed immediate medical
care.  I wanted to believe that by restricting which ferrets came in, I
would decrease the amount of stress and I could be even more selective
about the homes I place the ferrets in as I wouldn't be overwhelmed by
the number of ferrets.
 
Now I wonder if ferrets are better off with euthanasia.
 
How does a human being, who has always believed in sticking up for those
who can't speak for themselves, and making sure they have a quality of
life, now believe, that they're better off dead?
 
It's a sad world we live in.
 
Just recently I had an argument/debate with one of the members on one
of my ferret groups about diet.  This person insisted on proving I was
wrong, only to come back and say they actually didn't understand anything
I said.  Then a week later they need to find a home for their ferret
because they can't afford the adrenal problems.  Now a shelter is going
to have another adrenal ferret dumped on them.  Thank goodness this one
was on a crappy diet.
 
What's the point of education when no one listens?
 
So back to the two roommates.
 
I didn't do a home visit immediately, as I planned on visiting once the
ferrets were settled.  I bonded with Mercury and Neptune, and several
times I suggested to my fiance Robert that we just keep them.  But we
have too many, we can barely afford the ones we have, so we had to find
the others homes.
 
A week after the adoption of Mercury and Neptune, Chris, one of the
roommates called me, Chris is the one I work with.  Well, Chris was a
little frustrated, turns out his roommate is not cleaning up after the
ferrets like he expected him too, or something like that, I'm not sure
of the details.  He asked if I would "buy" everything back.
 
I had just made a payment to the vet, and had no money, and had to say
no.  But I would gladly take the ferrets back.  He said that he'll talk
to his roommate and try to work it out.
 
I saw him at work four days later, and asked him about it, and with a big
smile he said they worked it out, and they'll try harder.
 
During the holidays I had much going on, but I kept asking about the
ferrets, oh, they're great, we're so happy, blah blah blah.
 
This last Friday night I had to work late, and it was a long day, around
one am I went to valet to get my truck, but they lost it, didn't know
where it was at.  While searching for where they parked the ferret
mobile, I got to catch up on the ferrets.  Chris said they're doing
great, and I mentioned I still want to visit them, and he said okay.
Now that things have calmed down from the holidays, I have time to do
that home visit.  I didn't realize it was too late.
 
Before I tell you what happened, let me go back in time a little and
tell you another story, This one is about Coco.
 
Coco is a CA confiscate, a sweet albino boy who liked humans but not
other ferrets.  There was a lady who had been calling me for several
weeks about adopting him.  We spent hours on the phone.  Education,
that's what it's all about right?  I had an odd feeling, but she insisted
that she could handle it.  I asked her how she will pay for veterinary
care and she promised she has credit cards, and she's started a savings
account, oh all those promises.
 
A week before Christmas she called wanting to know if it's okay to put
Neosporin on Coco's eye.  You see, her son accidentally slammed the
ferrets head in the door.  I asked how bad the eye was, and she said it's
sticking out of the socket.  He also had a seizure after the initial
slamming of the head.
 
I insisted that she needs to take him to the vet.  She insisted that she
has no money.  Finally, I said that we can put it under our account.  I
didn't promise that we would pay for her ferret's vet care and then give
it back to her.  And what I didn't tell her is that we are claiming the
ferret back due to the breach of contract.  (Our contract says you have
to have the financial means to provide the ferret proper vet care, and
she couldn't do that.) She found this out the next day, and boy, was she
mad.
 
The vet said had she brought the ferret in sooner, they may have been
able to save his eye.  Also, because of the concussion, had she not
brought him in, he would have probably not made it through the night.
 
Since the ferret came in under our network, it could only be released
to one of us.  Which means she couldn't pick up "her" ferret.  This of
course made her mad, and the threatening phone calls started.
 
She finally told us she has the money and she'll pay for it all, so we
said, okay, go pick up your ferret, the bill has to be paid in full.  She
showed up at the vets office with her little girl, and told them that I
promised that I would pay her veterinary care.  They know better, I've
never paid anyone's care.  Just the shelter ferrets.  Then she told them
that she had a verbal contract with them, which of course there was none.
So then she decided that she needs to scream and yell at everyone at the
clinic, because you know, that's going to make them give her an animal.
Yep, real smart.  She only made a fool of herself.  We only felt bad for
the little girl who is being taught by her mother that this is acceptable
behavior.
 
Then more phone calls to the vet, all threatening, I'm going to sue you,
you stole my pet, blah blah blah, not once, did she ask how Coco is
doing.  She had no idea he had to go in for a second surgery.  She has
no idea he would have died had he not gone in when he did.  She has no
idea, and she didn't ask.
 
The phone calls from her to the vet begin to disturb their daily
business, and unfortunately, I had to call my attorney.  The vet had to
write her a nasty letter, and she was told if she continues to call,
they will call the police for harassment.  I had to call her and inform
her that as per my attorney's advice, I am to not give her back her
ferret until she pays us back in full.
 
Coco is doing great.  He's a permanent resident in one of our foster
homes.  He will be in our network for the rest of his life.  He is
adjusting well to having one eye.
 
As for her, I think she went out and bought a baby ferret, I don't have
proof, just a hunch.
 
This is just an example of the sick and twisted people that I have to
deal with on a regular basis.  Anyway...
 
So on Saturday morning one of the ladies from the humane society called
me.  She had this guy ask for her help with his ferret.  He couldn't keep
it, he had no idea what he had gotten himself into, and he only took in
the animal because he felt sorry for it.  You see, this guy is a plumber
for a living.  And he did some work for his neighbor, who didn't have
too much money, so as partial payment, he offered him the ferret and the
cage, with all the stuff with it.  The plumber just really felt bad for
the animal, so he took it.
 
So when I got the phone call from Dani (humane society), I told her that
I don't really have room right now, but, I'm boarding a ferret, and the
parents were considering a second fuzzy, so why doesn't she bring the
ferret by and we'll introduce them, if they get along, they can live
together until the owners come back from vacation, then we'll see if the
owners want a second ferret.
 
So yesterday morning, she comes by.  I have some friends over picking up
some bedding for their ferrets and everything is going just fine, just
another day at my "closed" shelter.
 
We introduce the ferrets, and they're friends immediately.  This is a
good thing.
 
So she brings me the cage the plumber gave her, and then things started
to look a little different.
 
I recognize this cage, I sold this cage to someone I adopted to, and the
hammock in there, as far as I know I'm the only person in Reno that sews
the hidey hole hammocks, and it's one of the prints I did... and I sold
the same set with the same cage and oh my god!  I ran back inside the
house and had Robert come out to look at the cage.  He recognized it too.
 
We ran back inside to take another look at the ferret playing with the
boarder.  Yep, it's Mercury alright.
 
I opened my desk drawer and dug out the signed contract and I called
Tyler, the other guy.  I asked him very calmly how the ferrets were, and
he responded very friendly like "Oh, they're doing great".  "BULLSH*T!!
I have Mercury right here in my home!  Where in the world is Neptune?"
 
His tone of voice changed and he told me that Neptune got out of the cage
and jumped off the balcony, they looked for him for several days but
never found him.  (After them lying to me so much already, I don't know
if I can believe this or not.)
 
All the thoughts that went through my head.  Is he okay, did he get
injured, did he get found, is he alive?  Followed by the unanswered
questions, the anger started to set in.  I don't remember the last time
I was so mad.  I was shaking.  My friends and Dani were just looking at
me not sure what I was going to do.  Robert was mad too, he really liked
these two ferrets, he had considered keeping them too.
 
I wanted to scream, yell, drive over to his house and beat the holly
crap out of him, but instead, I just told him that he is in breach of
contract, and I will be contacting my attorney first thing Monday
morning.  And I would call him back on Monday.
 
I asked Dani to get a statement from the plumber, she said she would.
Then Dani left, upset herself.
 
To calm myself down, I took a hot shower, then went for a walk, and
nothing was helping.  Then I had to go to work, and I had to keep myself
calm, because I have customers to make happy, and I make my living off
tips, and no one wants to buy a $38 steak from a pissed off waitress.
 
After work I was calmer, keeping my mind off the situation helped.  As I
was walking towards valet, I saw Chris, and I couldn't even look at him,
he tried to stop me, and I just kept walking.  Had I stopped, and looked
him in the eye, I would have socked him so hard he'd have a broken nose.
And it would all be on camera, and I would have lost my job, and people
like him are just not worth it.  And I am not at all normally a violent
person.
 
I kept walking and got to valet.  Valet was busy, and I didn't want Chris
to get my car, so I asked for my keys and walked to the parking garage,
got in the car and went home.
 
Upon getting home, Robert informed me that I left my cell phone at home,
and that he answered it, and it was Dani, and apparently the plumber is
afraid to make a statements because he received some threatening phone
calls from the two jerks.  Now I have to reassure him that he did
nothing wrong, and I really need that statement.
 
I called Tyler, and nicely left a message saying that he shouldn't be
threatening people, he's only making it worse for himself.  Both of them
signed the contract, so they're both liable.  And that I would call back
Monday after talking with my attorney.
 
At 5 am this morning, Tyler called to say that he only called the plumber
to find out what happened, as apparently he wasn't there when this
transaction took place.  What's really funny about this is that I never
mentioned the plumber on the phone.  I only told them the humane society
brought me the ferret, and I never said who they were threatening, but
yet he calls back and explains why he called the plumber.  Yep, digging
his own hole.
 
To be honest, I don't know what kind of legal action I can take.  But I
do have a good, well known attorney that volunteered his time to help
with anything he could.  I'll speak with him Monday.  I know there is a
breach of contract, and I know there is a missing ferret, which accidents
happen.  I also know the remaining ferret is back in my care, but does
that mean that these people can't be punished somehow?  What kind of a
person pays for services with an animal?
 
I can't wait until Monday morning when I can get some answers to my
questions.  Until then, Robert will have to drive me to work and back
so I don't have to use valet.  I could use the parking garage with out
valet, but really, who wouldn't recognize the ferret mobile.  And with
the two guys lying and changing the story, and threatening a plumber, who
knows what they'll do in retaliation.  I know I can't have my vehicle
disabled for any amount of time, so I'm just not taking any chances.
 
Which brings me back to the beginning.
 
What is the point of spending hours and hours of educating, money on
informational brochures, contracts and applications, when people don't
take it seriously?  Why rescue animals when they end up in worse
situations than where they were to begin with.?  I can't keep all the
ferrets, crap, I'm broke as it is, I work two jobs!  The vet bill is at
four grand again, and no one is buying the bedding I have to offer.
(which no, this is not a plea for money by any means).
 
I just want to know where Neptune is.
 
All of a sudden I understand the feeling of depression.  I have lost
faith in human kind and the faith for animals all in one day.  We breed
these animals, our society, the human race, we buy and sell them,
therefore, we are responsible for them.  You can not create something
that lives and breathes and then just throw it in the garbage.  You
can't!  I don't care how disposable you think they are, it is just plain
wrong.  These critters depend on you.  It's a living being for ferrets
sake!
 
And Neptune, my god, this happened in the first week they had them, that
was 6 weeks ago.  Where is this ferret?  Did he die out in the wild
alone?  Did someone else find him and take him in and care for him?  Is
he still limping around outside somewhere with an injury?  No one knows.
 
I truly hope that the sadness that looms over my mind will ease away
with a little bit of time.  If it doesn't, I may have to ask my doctor
for something to help me with it, because this is a horrible feeling.
I always make excuses for everyone, I try to think positive in every
situation.  Hey, shit happens.  But now I can't.  I can't possibly think
of a reasonable excuse for their actions.  And I'm angry, I want to beat
them to a pulp!  And I'm not a violent person.  I'm hoping a trip to the
gym will ease the anger and frustration, but I have a hunch it won't.
 
I have to hold back tears constantly, when I was working last night,
there were several times I thought I was going to burst into tears.  Let
me tell you, I had one crappy night.  I got in an argument with one of my
co-workers and then I yelled at my backwaiter for something he didn't do,
then I snapped at the bartender for taking too long, and then I almost
told off someone that tried to walk out, but managed to stay cool and
pretend they would have done it by accident.  It was nice of them to
leave me the two cent tip they did.  This is not like me at all.  I work
with a bunch of guys, and they didn't know what to make of it.  They
finally asked if I was on the rag or what.
 
So this ferret rescue is now affecting my life, it's not just rescue
anymore, it's frustrations and feelings I've never imagined I would feel.
And where is Neptune already?  How does a human being separate this from
themselves when it's a reality?  How do I hold back tears that are formed
by anger?  How do I fall asleep when I know I'm dead tired?  How do I
calm the anger that is in my head?  How do I get through the next 24
hours before I can call my attorney?  How?  how?  how?
 
Why do I spend hours on end trying to teach people, help them with their
pets?  Why, when no one is listening?  There are so many things I could
be doing instead.  I could go to a concert, or see a movie, or maybe go
camping, things I never do anymore, because if I'm not taking care of the
ferrets, I'm educating, or working to pay off the vet bill.  Why create
flyers or a website, why bother with any of it?!  I could spend my hours
relaxing and watching tv, having a glass of wine, and instead of spending
all the money on other people's pets that they dumped, I could afford to
eat at the very restaurant I work at.
 
I'm done with this.  I'm done with helping animals.  It's pointless.
I'm not taking anymore emergencies, I'm not saving from euthanasia, I'm
not feeling sorry for any of them.  I'm not going to be the answer to
everyone else's problem.  I'm paying off the vet bill and removing myself
from the vet bill account.  Once the vet bill is paid off, I can go back
to working one job, and have a life again.  I had already resigned as the
president of the Northern Nevada Ferret Network, but have been the acting
president.  After experiencing all of this evil, I no longer want to be
the acting president, but will continue until a replacement is found.  I
would really like to be completely done.
 
I will still continue to take the CA confiscates, and only because they
have been so wonderful to work with, and I don't have to deal with the
crappy people who dump their ferrets on purpose because they can't afford
their care.  I'll pass the confiscates on to foster homes though, this
way I don't have to bond with them, and get to know them, and then worry
about them.
 
And I will keep the websites up, but I'm not answering the phone, I'll
leave a message for emergencies call a freakin vet already, and for
questions go to our faq on our website, don't have internet access, go
buy a freakin book, don't have money for a book?  Go to the library.
Or better yet, if you don't have money you shouldn't be looking into
ferrets.  But I'm not taking any ferrets, I don't want to struggle with
the decision of what to do with them, is it a good home or bad home, this
or that, I just don't want to do it anymore (except for CA confiscates).
 
But after all of this, my bottom line conclusion is that 95% of people
that have pets, or at least ferrets, don't deserve them.  And if the
animal isn't in a TRULY good, loving, forever home, then they would be
better off euthanised than going through what Neptune or Mercury or Coco,
or all the others went through that were discarded like someone's trash.
There is no point, because the number of people who will provide that
truly good home is so small that there is not any where near enough good
homes for ALL the animals that need them.  Just look at all the shelters
that have the older sick ferrets that no one wants, they're swimming in
them, while the babies at Petco are sold in unbelievable numbers.
 
So, if anyone in the Reno area is interested, there's a board of
directors position open for the NNFN.  I'll be happy to pass down all the
paperwork and information, but I want no part of it anymore.  Good luck.
[Posted in FML issue 5131]