I'm a resident of Portland, OR anxiously following the "sightings" of Bob
Church.  No one I know has actually seen this person and I'm beginning to
doubt his existence.
 
One E-mail mentioned seeing him at the Portland Ferret Fun Match.  This is
clearly a hoax since that Fun Match isn't scheduled until Aug 11.  Others
claimed to see him at Eugene's Fun Match, however I discount these sighting
due to heat-induced hallucinations.  The temp was predicted to be over 100.
 
Rumor has it that a video-tape exists showing Bob Church jumping around with
a ferret in his pants.  Like most UFO and alien photos, the tape has a
grainy quality and could be just a man in a gorilla suit.
 
Other stories place Bob at a local brew-pub, sharing a drink with Elvis and
Jimmy Hoffa.  These stories are unconfirmed.  A current rumor is that
computer glitches are the reason for his lack of public appearances.
Perhaps Bob Church is a creation of cyberspace, a cousin to Max Headroom?
 
I'll be out of town for the next 2 weeks, searching for a Lock Ness type
creature in southern Wis.  My friends at the Oregon Ferret Assoc will be on
the lookout for Bob Church.  He may attend a meeting on the 20th, but my
hunch is there's a better chance Bigfoot will show.
 
(To the serious FMLers--Sorry for the humor, I'll make up a sad story next
time)
[Posted in FML issue 1633]