Hi everyone.  Have been getting FML for a week now and thoroughly enjoy it.
 Much easier to follow than Ferret Chat on AOL.  I've started a Ferret
Newsletter here in Omaha and will be happy to send a copy to anyone who
e-mails me their 'snail-mail' address.  In keeping with first entry
tradition, here is the story of how I got into ferrets.  The story is also
found in my first (and only, thusfar) issue of Ferret News (Omaha).  Enjoy...
and thank you for having me on FML.
Ferret Tales
Martha Adopts A Human
It was an unusually mild morning for February best remembered not for the
weather but rather for what happened as I turned the key in my car door lock
to go to work.  My vision detected a slender white head poking out from under
the car and moving towards my feet.
My brain lurched into overdrive while my body leaped backward three feet
believing that whatever was moving down there could be a possum and knowing
they could be vicious.  The solid white, slinky furry snake, far too small to
be a possum, circled my left shoe, rested its head on top, and looked up as
if to say,  "I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm hungry.  Please take me home and feed
me."
With trepidation, I reached down to the meek critter expecting it to either
bite or slither away.  Accepting my touch, it nuzzled closer as if to say,
 "I've found my human."
Washington's birthday was a week away and the name Martha popped into my
head.  I had nowhere to secure the animal in my apartment, so I scooped her
up and took her to work where the guys in the warehouse found a box and some
shredded paper for her to rest in while I spent the day at my desk job.  The
local pet store sold ferrets and I assumed they would be happy to get a free
one to resell.
The pet store didn't want her, but they did confirm her gender and sold me a
$40. cage and a $7. bottle of liquid vitamins.  The feed store sold me a $20.
bag of kibbled cat food and a $10. sack of cedar shavings.
Martha and I went home and discovered neither the apartment complex nor the
Omaha Humane Society had a report of a missing ferret matching Martha's
description: pure albino down to the pink eyes.  I left my number.
I had fallen in love with ferrets in pet stores but was afraid to have one in
the same apartment with a cockateel and two parakeets.  Martha showed no more
interest in the birds than she did in the sofa, the kitchen cabinets, or the
silverware drawer.  Waste baskets and potted plants were terrific
entertainment.
It was apparent she had been someone else's pet, but was she housebroken?
 Well, yesx and no.  She was very particular about using only one corner of
her cage while in it.  Outside the cage she was just as particular: the
bathroom tile floor in the corner behind the toilet.  I placed a pan of cat
litter there:  fun to play in but she continued to use the tile floor beside
it.  I switched to cedar shavings in the pan; same result.  Finally I
replaced the plastic dish pan with a paper towel.  She used it!  Clearly she
was training me and not the other way around.
Her favorite play area was the shower, especially when I turned the water on
with the spray pointed at the wall so she could drink without getting wet.
 It became the first place she'd run to when I let her out of the cage or
after returning from a walk.
Yes, she leash trained me.  At first I tried a lizard collar:  too
complicated for me to put on and too easy for her to wriggle out of.  Next
was a kitten collar.  Finding the right notch to latch was the challenge.
 Too few, and like Houdini, she was out of it in 30 seconds.  Too tight and
she would slither across the floor dragging her front paws along her sides.
I soon learned that this was an act designed to get me to loosen the collar.
 One notch less and within 30 seconds she was out of it.  Once I ignored the
'handicapped routine' she became engrossed in the smells of the grass and
pranced as if she had no restraint whatsoever.
All through the spring and summer the neighborhood became accustomed to
seeing Ferretman and Martha out on their evening strolls.  Consequently, in
the fall when a neighbor found another albino ferret nesting in a sack of cut
grass on her porch, I was contacted and Snowball became part of my and
Martha's life.
Snowball went through the same "you're strangling me" routine when first
introduced to the leash and kitten collar.  But with Martha there to drag him
along, he caught on much faster and now drags her just as often.  All in all
we're the hit of Standing Bear Lakex the guy with the two ferrets on a double
leash.
[Posted in FML issue 1025]