Several months and two beloved pets (who have since departed for the Rainbow
Bridge) ago, I spent what seemed like an entire day cleaning the rug where
the dog forgot his manners (a large puddle from a very elderly dog),
scraping two days poop out of the tub (courtesy our surly persian cat) and
found a six-inch-high mountain of poop from our two ferrets that had
remained hidden in the corner under a heavy china cabinet.  Know the awful
sound dry poop makes when vacuumed up?  It's even worse when you pull the
rug brush out and see all the squishy brown stuff stuck to it (no sound
there, other than me, screaming).  I swore then and there (and loudly, too)
that we had TOO MANY %$@#* ANIMALS and there would be NO MORE FERRETS!!!
NEVER, EVER!!
 
Now, the deities delight in hearing some fool say the words "I'll never
again ...(fill in the blank with something you swear you'll never, ever do
again)".  In my case, they waited a few months until I'd calmed down and
realized both little poop-machines were elderly (ages 6 and 7) and might
leave us for the Rainbow Bridge in the near future.  They aren't sick or
injured, but are getting up there, and it's a shock to realize just how much
we love them when we realize they could leave us at any time.  So, the other
day I had a few minutes extra and sauntered into a pet store with the
intention of buying just one bottle of Ferretone.  But there, in the middle
of the store, was a delightful three-story cage filled with -- yes!  NINE
BABY FERRETS!!  I'd never seen a baby ferret before, much less nine of them,
all playing and sleeping and pooping and playing ... yes, it was true love
at first sight.  I sat down on the floor, let one out to cuddle and hug,
another one made a break for freedom, and soon I was in the center of a baby
ferret free-for-all, being nibbled, cuddled, pounced at and helplessly
falling in love.  Those who've been there know what I'm talking about.
 
I was late for my appointment (who cares?!) and went right back to the
store for another round of ferret love.
 
So, how am I in trouble?  Well, my magic plastic card wasn't maxed out,
and ... well ... I sort of put a security deposit on the cutest boy in the
bunch.  He's only eight weeks old and enormous!  Even our elderly adult male
isn't that big!  And he has paws the size of quarters!  And he loves to be
held and snuggled!!  He's a gentle nibbler, a nose-kisser and the most
adorable little animal I've ever set eyes (and money down) on.  Now, I have
to convince my SO, who has never ever let me forget that one ill-considered
outburst (NO MORE FERRETS!!!  NEVER, EVER!!) that he should come with me and
*just take a look, a little look, what can it hurt* see the adorable baby
ferrets.  The pet shop owner will hold the tyke for a couple more days.  I'm
tempted to just introduce him (complete with heartwrenching sob story) when
SO gets home from work.  But I'm not quite that brave.
 
If I can't convince SO that this little boy is the most wonderful thing
since indoor toilets and canned beer (and at the same time maybe bring
along another brother or sister for company, as an only ferret is a lonely
ferret) then the next customer in the door can take him --or them-- home.
Sigh.  I don't want them to miss out on a good home if now isn't the right
time for us.
 
I confess, I'm hooked.  I'm in big trouble.  Already, I understand ferret
math: If my MasterCard still has $X left on it, and nine ferrets at $109
each equals $Y, and the store will give me 50% off on the crate ... hey,
everyone, wanna come home with me??
 
Or maybe SO and I will wait until our old guys have left, peacefully and
with the comfort of a long, much-loved life, for the Rainbow Bridge, not
feeling as if they were being replaced by two young whippersnappers.  I
dunno.  If they just weren't so darn *cute*!
 
Rainey
**The more I see of people, the more I love animals.**
**If you haven't grown up by age 35, you don't have to!!**
[Posted in FML issue 1639]