Q: "My ferrets seem to always want to poop in front of the door or in door
    entrances. Why?"
 
A: Because they can't reach your pillow.
 
Being unable to actually read their minds, I can't speak to intent and
so I can't accurately say "why." However, I think there is a reasonable
explaination.  The areas you have mentioned are high traffic areas; that
is, there is a lot of foot traffic which not only brings in new odors, but
also tends to wipe out the old ones.  I have found from my own experiences
that the high traffic doorways which the ferrets can't get past, such as
the front door or the door to the kitchen, tend to be those which the
ferrets love to use as latrines.  This might mean the ferrets are seeing
this barrier as a territorial limit to their "space," and are intent on
marking it against outside intrusion, and redouble their efforts because
the high foot traffic (and clean-up) tend to disrupt the olfactory
signposts.  On the other hand, perhaps they are just making a political
statement that would make Voltaire proud.
 
Q: "My ferrets are rather fat. What can I do to make them thinner?"
 
A: Put them on a treadmill in front of an elephant.
 
Fat ferrets are common in winter because they naturally put on weight to
get them throught the lean times.  OK, domesticated ferrets no longer have
that worry, but their wild ancestors (polecats) still tend to starve to
death during the late winter and early spring when prey species are in
short supply.  A couple of thousand years of domestication has not been
able to reverse millions of years of evolution, and the carpet sharks tend
to bloat up a bit each fall.
 
However, on my travels I have noticed far too many ferrets suffering from a
permanent obesity which in not directly linked to seasonal plumping.  These
ferrets are so obese that the fur on their bellies and between their hind
legs rubs off as the skin slides across the floor.  They have flacid
muscles (poor muscle tone), and generally are not very active.  These are
fat ferrets, and, just like in humans, the obesity places them at risk for
health problems that shorten their lives.
 
Rather than telling you what to do, let me tell you how these poor beasties
live.  They are stuck in a small or cramped cage most of the time.  They
have a constant supply of food, which they can suck down for many reasons
besides nutrition, including boredom.  When they are released from the
cage, it is for short periods of time only, and with very little human
interaction--sort of a "you are out, so play and entertain the human"
thing.  They have no opportunity for aerobic exercise, which means they do
not get to run or play while out, either because of a lack of a play
partner, or a lack of opportunity.  They eat high carbohydrate foods rather
than the low carboyhdrate diet of their wild polecat ancestors.
 
There are more reasons, but the bottom line is too many calories and too
little exercise results in too much fat.  You can increase the exercise,
which is quite effective in ferrets.  You can decrease the calories, which
isn't as effective because many times the body will slow down the metabolism
to in order to stave off "starvation," reducing its effectiveness.  The
best method is to increase exercise while slowly decreasing the amount of
calories.
 
One last comment.  There is a myth that ferrets have to always have food to
eat because of their high metabolisms.  For healthy ferrets, this is pure
ferret poo.  In every study of every animal that was able to eat anytime
they wanted too; that is, with full access to a full food dish, the animals
had shorter lives, were fatter, and had higher incidences of certain
cancers.  Animals that were fed 2 or 3 times a day lived longer, had lower
cancer rates, and were much healthier.  It took me a while to wean the
ferrets off their constant supply of food, but now most of my 20 only get
food twice a day.  Mind you, they eat a lot when they get their food, they
still plump up during winter, but they are much leaner the rest of the
time.  They are also more active, with 2-3 hours of activity surrounding
the feeding times.  Sick ferrets are removed from the group and fed at more
frequent intervals.  The point is, in the wild, it would be hard to find
any polecat having a constant supply of food, and since most ferrets sleep
8-12 hours at a stretch, the twice daily feeding is fine.
 
Bob C and 20 Mo' Food Snarfin' Sofa Sharks
[Posted in FML issue 2508]