Q: "BOB!!!  You flamed someone!!!  [referring to the ferret vegetarian
    post] ...Is this a new trend?"
 
A: The only trend I could set is how to drool properly.  Well, maybe I
   started that "butt-crack when you bend over" thing....
 
<sigh> A post is only a flame if other people know who you are taking
about; I neither mentioned a name or address, nor did I post enough of the
message for anyone else to identify the person.  I made absolutely sure
to keep the person's identity confidential.  In truth, I had spent
considerable time emailing the person over several days because of my
concern that a vegetarian diet is harmful to obligate carnivores like the
ferret.  I posted to the FML with the person's full consent and only after
I had sent the FML post to them as a "fair warning."  If that is flaming,
then I'm a flamer.
 
I did post vigorously and strongly because I feel humans have a
responsibility to provide the best life possible for our domesticated
friends (like the ferret).  I also admit I poked a bit of fun at
vegetarianism in general, but the movement deserves it.  Sorry, it's true.
I recently saw a couple of highway billboards supporting vegetarianism;
one showing a male pot belly and a beautiful female turned off from the
"meat belly." Are you crazy?  Most the guys in America I know with great
big bellies got it from planting their ass on the sofa, drinking beer and
eating potato chips.  I don't know many beers and chips were made from
steak.  Beer and chips ARE vegetarianism!  The other one showed some sheep
with a caption saying we shouldn't kill God's creatures.  Was the person
who designed the billboard stupid?  What, you can SACRIFICE them, just
don't eat them?  What a maroon!  Pretentious positions deserves satire
and comment.  What can I say?  Did you see my very first response above?
 
Q: "...Are you saying NO plant products are good for ferrets to eat?  Not
    even raisins?"
 
A: Hey Goober, since when does a raisin a day constitute a vegetarian diet?
 
I never said that.  In fact, amino acids are amino acids; who the hell
cares where they came from?  Do you care if your gas came from oil produced
in Canada or California?  But plant starches are NOT fats, and I know of no
easy way to replace essential fatty acids without using a meat product.
Because the ferret requires a diet containing essential fatty acids (which
are NOT made by plants), placing a ferret on a strict vegetarian diet is a
death sentence.  Well, at least a long-term malnutrition sentence.  Isn't
malnutrition ferret abuse?
 
Q: "...Isn't this just your word against theirs [regarding ferret
    vegetarianism]?"
 
A: Only if you eliminate facts, evidence and truth (not innuendo; ferret
   vegetarians can have that...).
 
Ok, think of this as a lawsuit; since I bad mouthed ferret vegetarianism,
consider it a libel suit.  How does the judge know if a statement is
libelous or not?  They look at the evidence; it is NOT libelous if it is
true.  So take me to the scientific version of court and sue me.  In other
words, bring out the scientifically accepted evidence and PROVE my position
wrong.  I double dogwood dare you.  Oh, consider it a sign if your lawyer
asks for the money up front.
 
Folks, while I might poke a bit of fun at the pretentious positions
fostered by vegetarianism, I have no real objection to it in herbivores
<snicker>.  Ok, most omnivores.  But I do take a contrary position when it
comes to the imposition of such an inherently political lifestyle on strict
or obligate carnivores.  If you can't deal with the thought of your pet
eating another animal, then buy a llama.  Better get a damn big litter box
and watch out for the spit.
 
Bob C and 16 Mo' Litigious Libelers
[Posted in FML issue 3008]